A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what to do. In December I met a guy and since we were both fresh out of relationships, we agreed to see eachother non exclusively. We've been fine until the last month or so.He began ignoring me for days, while we were at the same club if I went to over to say hello he'd ask me to leave him be. When we're on our own at his house etc, he's fine.His girlfriend dumped him for a better guy, now a few days ago he dumped her so she's back on the scene. He told me not to worry because he's crazy about me, more than he ever was for her. Only, last night, she was there at the club, and they kissed. He isn't speaking to me and I heard something's going on with them.Between us both working every day, I only see him on nights out. I'll see him tonight. Should I go over and speak to him? What should I do?
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female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (12 March 2009):
 He's keeping you on the side in case things don't work out with his ex. Basically, he's having his cake and eating it too, and you're letting him.
I feel the same as Irish49 about non exclusive relationships. In my experience, one persona always likes the other way more, and is always the one who ends up getting hurt.
Ignore him back at the club. Follow his request and 'leave him be'. My guess is when you start dancing with another guy, he won't be so keen about it.
If this is a non exclusive relationship, then treat it as such. Go find other guys, maybe one of them will make you happy and spend his time on you and you alone.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): So you and he agreed to make this a "we're dating each other, but we can see other people". Am I right? I have to ask why you would even agree to a 'non-exclusive' relationship, in the first place. To me that's just a glorified 'fwb' relationship. And someone always get hurt in the end. Maybe you aren't bugged by this, but I am guessing you are...that you wanted more and he's not prepared to give any more. Otherwise, why ask what you should do if you see him at the club?
No, you don't have to talk to him at the club--maybe a nice wave or a smile, as you 'rock the house down' with another nice looking young man at your side! lol . That's about it. If he's been ignoring you and has been asking you to 'leave him be' in a club and he's been seen kissing his ex gf in the club, then I am sorry--he's made a choice here. I think he's hooking up with the ex gf, so just leave him be. Why don't you go for the guy, who has no ex gf baggage and will give 'you' all of his attention and look to having a nice, committed exclusive relationship with just you! I think you'd probably like that a lot more and doing this, keeps a person's pride and dignity intact. good luck, dear
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