A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it normal to feel a little uncomfortable in interracial relationships at first? I'm white and he's Chinese, and he's really sweet. It just seems kind of awkward sometimes like if he wants to kiss me in public or something or hold hands when walking somewhere Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, I just wanted to say thanks for the advice!! I had finally figured out what the problem was; it wasn't because he was Chinese, necessarily. I realized that it was because he was already telling me he loved me after I hadn't even known him for a full month yet, which was way too soon for me to hear and made me uncomfortable. After pushing him back for a little while and helping him realize that he needs to slow down, the situation got a lot better. We have been 'officially' dating for a couple of weeks now and I have gotten over just about all of the uncomfortableness I had felt. The only thing that still bugs me is the bad looks we get sometimes when people look at us together; but I'm sure after a while I won't even notice that anymore.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): Sweetness. Do not do anything you are uncomfortable with, ever. Find a beautiful white man who deserves you, and walk tall in the street. This guy might be fine, but he's not for you hun. I am sure he can still be happy with a Chinese girl.
Emily
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A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (13 September 2010):
If you are uncomfortable being with him solely because of his ethnicity, which is definitely how your question reads, then you should just move on now.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): Yeah to me it sounds like you might be embarassed, or don't want people of your own race to look down on you. Either way its wrong
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 Are you embarrassed? Because that is the only reason I can see why this would feel uncomfortable. Is this your first relationship? Are you uncomfortable just because of him being Chinese, or are you not comfortable about the relationship in general? Are you afraid people judge you?
I don't think it should feel uncomfortable in a relationship because of difference in race. If you are attracted to him things should be fine and good. If you feel uncomfortable it might be because you are not sure how to behave and what to expect, possibly because this is your first interracial relationship? Maybe you just need to give it a go and see that he is just a normal guy, despite his race being different from yours.
Be proud of him and your relationship.
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A
female
reader, WhateverMovesThee +, writes (13 September 2010):
 It's different for everyone but I sure was! I felt uncomfortable when my bf held my hand or kissed me cause I felt the world was staring! But after some time, as my love grew for him, I was like, "Screw it, I'm going to enjoy being with my boyfriend no matter what." My boyfriend took on that attitude too so whenever someone would stare at us too long, he'd grab me and kiss me or hold my hand tighter. We learned to laugh about it though at times, some people were plain rude. But, it made our relationship stronger. I'm not saying it will stop being tough, but with time, you'll see that it won't bother you as much. Or you may find that you're never comfortable with it and thats ok too. You cannot help how you feel and no, that does not make you a racist. Some people find too much pressure in interracial relationships and again, thats ok. In the end, you'll always fight for what you want and love. Best of luck!
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