A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do I even begin?Well, I just feel the need to express my thoughts and get things off my chest because I am in a complicated situation that is leading me to lack of sleep because my brain won't stop thinking and debating. I am sixteen years old, I work at this camp where I look after children for about six hours a day. The way this camp works is that we're seperated in different groups by ages (in my case, I take care of kids from the ages ten to twelve). In each group, there is about five staffs looking after the toddlers. Even though my physical appearance tells me that I am sixteen years of age, my mind says that I am about twenty-five because I developed maturity really quickly. Therefore, I am in a relationship with a counsellor (they lead the kids and plan activities for them) and he is twenty-six, which makes us ten years apart. I met him before I started working, it was during a staff meeting. We introduced ourselves (it was a friendly conversation, no flirting) and I can admit that he is a handsome man, I mean, his bright-hazel eyes are hard to ignore and he's full of enthusiasm and positivy which made me smile. Ironically, I was put in the same group as him and he became my co-worker as a counsellor. We began as typical co-workers, looking after the kids but later on, he began to approach me and he kept asking me questions, as if he was curious or interested. "What grade are you in?", "What do you want to achieve in life?", "Which college do you want to apply for?" and so on. Since he kept asking me questions, I decided to ask him. I soon realized that he attends university and he is studying to become an English teacher. Suddenly, we decided to exchange numbers and emails amongs the staff in our group, just in case of an emergency or any situation. However, my counsellor and I took it a little too far. We would send each other friendly text messages, saying "How are you, today?", "What are you up to?", "What's new?", etc. It's sort of like we began to be friends. Later on, we began to engage in different debates and conversations and we noticed that we can really relate to each other and we have a lot in common. I believe that we began to be a little bit more than just friends when we took the kids to the movie theatre and I sat next to him. We sat next to each other and accidentally held hands, he said "My apologies" but I replied "Don't worry about it". I suppose it gave him a thought that I liked him and I did, I still do. One day, I attended the staff room once camp ended and I was getting ready to sign out because I needed to let my boss know I was gone, but I bumped into my counsellor and we were alone. It was raining horribly, there was thunder storms and it was really cold that evening and I forgot my umbrella, clumsy me. He let me borrow his jacket and he offered to give me a lift home and he did ask my boss for permission and she was fine with that and I also called my mother to let her know and she said "As long as you get home safely, hun". I got in his vehicle and we began to talk and we ate at McDonalds (I know, tacky) and once we got back in the car, I would repeatedly tell him how much I appreciated what he has done and I kept thanking him but I also let the sentence "I love you" slip out of my mouth. It was awkward and silent for a while and then I said "I'm sorry, you can drop me off right there" and then he said "No, Angela, I don't want you to catch a cold because I want to see you safe and healthy the next day". I was awfully shocked as his response and I said "Why do you want to see me tomorrow?". He replied "I can't stop thinking about you, I love you", I felt so relieved, I started to cry tears of joy and was so embarrased but then he kept giving me affection and he was hugging me and we kissed. We were holding hands until he dropped me off. We have been in this relationship for four weeks and counting and we do maintain to be professional when we are working, in fact, I try not to give him a lot of eye contact just for the sake of not being distracted or making things "obvious". I obviously haven't told anyone about this relationship and neither has he. I am afraid. I love him and I can't stand a day without listening to his voice, but it could cost him years in prison if anyone ever finds out. I am categorized as a "minor", even though I truly don't think I am, mentally. Age is never an issue when we're together. I know there will be many people that might say "You can't be with him, he's using you!" the truth is, he isn't. He respects me and my decisions. We have discussed about sex and we don't plan to do it right away because it's too risky and it can potentially be dangerous, you see, he's also patient and he loves me for what I stand for and who I am, not because I'm young and I'm "fresh meat", that's so immature, I'm better than that. He did have relationships with women his age and I also dated guys my age, but we never felt such a strong chemistry and connection unlike our past lovers. As a matter of fact, guys my age are the "pigs", they're the ones that only want sex from you and aren't faithful or commited. My boyfriend is really special to me, he never likes to see me by myself, he always wants to hold me tight and keep me company without anyone looking, I really feel safe around him, even though the situation itself is not accepted in society and could lead to worse things. We can't stay away from each other, because we're scared to move on. I'm not asking you what you would do in my shoes, because not many people could relate to this drama. The funny thing is, even though he can't take me to a restaurant, the movies or just even hold my hands without the public noticing, we're still able to live with that.I'm simply asking for your opinion and your advice or recommendations. I'm confused and lost.Is this an ugly curse or a beautiful blessing?
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co-worker, flirt, I love you, immature, in jail, move on, my boss, text, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Shelbyy-x  +, writes (3 August 2010):
 Honestly do what you feel is rift. Talk to him about it. I was 12 dating a 18 year old 23 dating a 20year old 14 with a 21 year old and ive now been with my boyfriend of 23 for 2 years. Ofcourse everyone says oh my god age is a big deal that's gross getwith someone your own age and so on. I also matured quickly. And if you're parents are okay with it like mine were that helps quite a bit. People have to have proof that he is doing anything with you.. They can say he is which then you guys will probably be watched but people have to have proof before he can get in trouble. Well in my state anyways.. Love is love and age is just a number. Guys mature much slower than girls in the first place. And to the person that said he is immature so what maybe he is but so is a guy I have something with who is 25. He says he is still a kid at heart. People don't want to grow up and get old and that's okay. As long as you can be mature when you know it's needed. But my answer probably didn't help much. I just really know what you're going through and if you would like to ask me anything FEEL FREE! :)
A
female
reader, DazedConfused  +, writes (31 July 2010):
When I was just a little older than you, I met a guy who made me feel just as special as this guy makes you feel. and it is a beautiful blessing. Like you, I was more mature than most girls my own age. I couldnt imagine having a relationship with a guy my own age. This relationship, Now ended did last for almost 7 years. We had a lot of bad times and alot of good times. But the age was never the issue. We actually flew to canada to get married when I was 18.
although it ended I have no regrets at all and Im glad I went for it.
I do think your mature enough and old enough to decide what you do with your own body. I certainly was at your age. I would suggest you be careful and discreet. But this guy sounds like a good guy and I think your better to be around someone like that than some 16 year old boy who wants to have sex with you behind a bike shed.
Take care be discreet and enjoy this relationship. be prepared for a bumpy ride, be smart and always always follow your insincts. If you ever feel you ever feel uncomfortable or pressured GET OUT.
But yeah I say go for it... Its a beautiful blessing!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): Sweetie, you're 16! All of these people are saying that age doesn't matter but in all truth, it does. You say that your mind is mature for your age, and that may be true, but think about him. He's 26 and is dating a 16 year old. Have you ever thought that maybe he's immature and that the women he so called dated didn't like it. Did he tell you in detail about what happened with the women, like who broke-up with who?
Listen, this isn't a good situation. Men who are dating minors have psychological problems and are mentally immature for their age. If you two become intimate, which I hope you don't, then he will be arrested for rape no matter if it was consented sex or not. It will be permanently placed on his record that he raped/ sexually abused a minor. Do you think the camp with accept him after that? And you might think, "We'll wait until I'm not a minor anymore." But, if there is a law against what you two are doing, then most likely it's for your safety. Please, think about this and let your mom know because you are still under her care.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): I agree with a few people about this situation being a beautiful blessing, but if the law says that you're a minor, you must wait. You can't change the law and the law won't make you an exception. I'm sure your boyfriend would understand that it would be more acceptable if you were to put this relationship on hold rather than feeling the urge of getting caught. In Canada, I believe the legal age is 18, you only have to wait 2 years, you won't even notice how fast it will go by. I'm not saying that you guys have to be standing miles away, if you guys are afraid of "moving on" then stay in touch and keep communicating but don't do anything more for the next 2 years to come. He needs to be focusing in school, he's about to become a teacher and you need to find yourself, you're only sixteen. I know you mentioned that you're mature and feel much older, but you still haven't gone through situations and experiences like an adult has. I also hope that when you do turn 18, you won't consider this a mistake or something you regret, you really need to think about that. I personally don't have a problem with what you're going through, in my opinion, because from what I read, you're being a bit more mature than a typical teenage girl and he's taking good care and responsibility for you, I think this relationship could work out but it takes patience, which you mentioned you both have, so why not just wait for the right time where you don't have to worry anymore?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): The truth is you only have to answer to your own concise, its entirely up to you, all i would advice is really think before you act. Because its better to wait then spend a life time regretting it.
Also believe me you are never as old as you feel you are, at 25 people will still make the same stupid mistakes as a thirteen year old.
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A
female
reader, VenaCava  +, writes (31 July 2010):
 Hmm...beautiful blessing that probably HAS to wait.
If you guys really love each other, then he'll wait until you're on the legal age. And then continue with the relationship.
Just put it on hold for the moment. Don't worry, time goes by so fast, you won't feel it, and suddenly you're on legal age.
At that time, both of you can enjoy the relationship without any guilt or worry that one of you might get into trouble.
Hiding a happy news is not a nice feeling, you will want to spread it around. That is why, put the relationship on hold for now, and wait until the right time.
you can always write to me, if you need to talk.
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A
male
reader, bartmaverick +, writes (31 July 2010):
 Is the age of consent 18 in Canada? Whatever it is, you need to wait until then and have left camp and he is no longer at risk of losing his job or going to prison.
But I'm also with "Dr.Ski" about its being a beautiful think - be discreet, wait and follow your heart.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): so basically you are a teacher at fat camp, and you eat at mcdoanalds? what kind of example are you trying to set for them fat kids? i bet if they were to ever find out about your midnight escapdes to mcdonalds, they would probably find a way to get the mcdonalds out of you. so basically, i think you should not eat at mcdonalds, and you should not be advertising for mcdonalds, that is totally unexceptable if your a teacher at fat camp. unless in scome case your trying to teach the kids to be fat, in that case then you should be trying to feed them something with high corn frutose, and alot of refined breads and sugars. i hope this helps you in your moral phlight about what to feed fat kids. ps they probably don't like vegtables.
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A
female
reader, teapot236 +, writes (31 July 2010):
You are right. Not many people can relate to your drama ha-ha but I can. I will say don't do anything you will regret (don’t act on impulse or your hormones) and never do anything you can't tell your mom (guardian) about. I don't know what type of relationship you and your mom have but if its open and she trust you don't do anything to jeopardize it (I know that from experience). On the other hand age is nothing but a number and it’s about how you treat and respect each other. I don't want to make you lose confidence in him, but I will say be careful. If all else fails PRAY!
P. S. Your 16 and you have your entire life ahead of you. You seem like a bright person. Tread carefully and keep your guard up (even if it’s only a little).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): Did you get this from the show "Pretty Little Liars"?
It sounds almost identical, very nice story-telling.
I can tell this story is so fake.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): oh wow.if you're so mature, how can you use the 'my brain is older than my not-even-postpubescent body?'. ok this supposed relationship (does he call you a girlfriend too?)won't even be half as 'dramatic' (which i think you like) in two years when it's legal and you're not a child in the eyes of the law. THEN you'll be allowed to bring home your near-30 year old lover to mommy, if he does respect and wait for you and not agonize over your fresh meat. i think you're being really, really, naive, for someone supposedly so aged for their age. IT'S A CREEPY SUMMER FLING. go find a counselor your own age to psychically bone.
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A
female
reader, Dr.Ski +, writes (31 July 2010):
This is a beautiful blessing, age doesnt matter, LOVE matters, and it definately sounds like you have it there. Just keep up keeping it secret, and when your out of school, there is no law no more! :) x
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