| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Having a hard time coping. My boyfriend of almost a year broke it off with me. This came as a shock. At first he said that we may get back together. He just couldn't picture spending the rest of his life with me, and he needed time to think. So, after 3 weeks of him saying the same thing, I finally told him that I need closure. So, now I know that we are not getting back together. He says that right now "its just not there". But, it was 2 months ago when he was talking of marrying me and saying how happy he was and in love with me he was. What the hell happened? How do I move on? I am hanging with friends but I will have to see him all the time and that is so hard.
View related questions:
get back together, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lovelikethis +, writes (12 December 2006):
forget about him and the horse he rode in on. i have been there done that. he is using you as a crutch. he justneeds a rock all of the time and chances are that he has already found a new one that he is polishing up this moment. men like him need someone there all of the time and need to know that even if he left, she would still be there. he does not love you, as a matter of fact, he does not even love himself. he is lonely and he figures that as long as he is not alone he will be o.k., but that is not true. he has a void in him that can not be filled by you, or any other woman. stay strong, move on!
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (12 December 2006):
 I would be grateful to have found out what he is like right now if I were you - better you found out he is running hot and cold now than a couple of months into a marriage that was going nowhere. I understand it must be difficult to see him but just try to avoid that for a short while to give yourself some time to get over things. You have done nothing wrong and from what you wrote it seemed the relationship was very much dominated by him - his wants, his needs etc. You need to find someone more balanced and rational as a long-term partner...settle for nothing less and don't waste time thinking what went wrong with this relationship. Ultimately it is his loss!
...............................
A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (12 December 2006):
 Well what did happen then between 2 months ago and now ? Any change in your behaviour or his ? Did he intitiate the conversation about marriage ? I tend to think you put pressure on him, 3 weeks is no time at all to "think things over" for a man. I think you should have been much more patient with him and given him the space, sounds like he had to keep repeating himself to you ? Has he not told you any reasons for this need for space ? Just to think ? Too many unanswered questions here. Mail me direct if you need more advice, sounds a bit strange this one. Are you sure there's no other woman involved ? This can explain sudden changes but there can also be many things women do wrong in relationships that put men off too... many small subtle things you may not realise you were doing ?? Happy to help but need more info.
...............................
|
