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female
age
51-59,
*arol00
writes: Im have been seeing a guy for 6 months. He is jsut getting over a bad two year reltionship and has had a problem committing to me but has been honest about that from the beginning. he is a fraid of doing somehting wrong and hurting me. He has said I am the first person he has been able to talk to about anything and has no problem talking about our issues. the problem is I have fallen head over heels in love with him but he is still afraid of commitment. he wants to take it slow. how long do I wait? When we are together it is the best we talk for ever we listen to each other. when it comes to sex we haven't made love since the first date. think it was hormones but now he wants to just have oral sex? this confuses me too. does he think oral sex is less of a commitment?
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female
reader, carol00 +, writes (13 December 2006):
carol00 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThnaks for the advice. It's nice to hear that maybe it is time that he needs to heal. I'm positive he is not waiting or have anyone else. He tells me he cares alot for me and that is why he is takig slow so we don't rush into anything and get hurt becasue we did.
A
female
reader, lovelikethis +, writes (12 December 2006):
sit back and wait. make a pact to only have sexual contact if the both of you know that it doesn't mean marriage. let him heal. you can not push him into your arms, make him fall into your arms. let him know that you will never hurt him and that you are here to stay. don't just come out and say it, make sure he knows you feel it. like if you have plans to hang out, show up on time and do not cancel unless it is absloutley necessairy. but most important of all make sure that the reason that he won't commit to you is that he is already committed to another. he may tell you that just so he has the option of getting laid elsewhere.
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