A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Do you think it's possible for a 58 year old male to change? I, 50, have had a high/low relationship with him for 9 months. The highs are wonderful, but then he will flip out over nothing (this last time was the tv remote) and end the relationship again.He has had an extremely violent childhood and I know these insecurities, etc. come from this. But is there any hope? Or hope if he would go to a counsellor?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): He hasn't changed in how many decades?
People can change but only if THEY on their OWN want to. It hasn't happened for him in how many decades?
A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (20 November 2012):
 People do have angry spells, even if though didn't have rotten childhoods.
What you don't tell us is the extent of his anger. Was he just tired? Frustrated? Did he hurt you? Did he take out his frustrations on you? Did he verbally last out?
What you also don't identify is the root cause of his anger. Was he angry because you touched the remote and moved it someplace that it shouldn't have been? Perhaps he feels crowded by your presence or feels like you are intruding on his space. If that is the case, no amount of counselling is going to fix him. He needs his space and doesn't know how to deal with someone intruding on it constructively.
I think the question you need to ask yourself is whether the agonies and frustrations you are going through worth the effort AND the risk of seeking help. Yes, some men can change but he has to meet you half way and realize that he does have a problem. If he is sincere in his intentions and knows what he has done was wrong, then I see hope, otherwise, I think you'll likely be wasting your time and money.
I do hope you take some time out for yourself and determine if this man is worth the effort.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, katiekate +, writes (20 November 2012):
 Probably not. Personalities are developed during childhood and by his age, he is definitely set in his ways. Change and self-improvement are always possible, but by now, I wouldn't count on it if I were you. Especially if he is not motivated to change.
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