A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I know there is a lot of questions asked about this but I really need some advice my friends with benefits if you could call it that have been sleeping together for nearly 3 years now last week I asked him if he had been sleeping with someone else he was quite nasty with me and said he had been we agreed only to sleep with each other he keeps accusing me of sleeping with someone else when I am not not he keeps hassling me for sex all the time I keep telling him no how do I get it through to him that I'm not having sex with him while he is sleepin with someone else thanks
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (15 September 2012):
 Hi
Ofcourse he keeps hassling you for sex, you have given it freely for 3 years.He treats you badly,sleeps with other girls,but you dont care, you want him to be your man I think.He wants you to open your legs.
He wants you there,waiting for his visits, so you are
You could stop it, just ignore his calls,dont answer the door, simple.
You won't though because you live in hope he will change, be a boyfriend. He never will.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 September 2012):
 Thanks for your answers but he is the one who wanted us to only sleep with each other.
No, OP he asked YOU to not sleep with anyone else. The whole POINT of FWB is that you do not have that kind of control over each other and whom you date,see or sleep with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): And now he's broken that agreement and you're actually looking for way to "tell him" that's not on?
Very clear who's the boss here OP, he owns you because if he didn't you wouldn't even need to ask us anything or even be so blind as to think he doesn't know exactly what he's doing.
You can't even sum up the courage to tell him that you're not going to sleep with him while he sleeps with someone else and I bet my house you're just going to hang around wait and hope he stops sleeping with her or just give in and continue being his bit on the side.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 September 2012):
 He is the one who SAID he wanted you to only sleep with each other. Facts have shown he wanted that you'd only sleep with him, while he could sleep with other women. You are in a pickle now. You know that he broke your agreement and that he cannot be trusted. Suppose that he says : OK, from now on I am only going to sleep with you- how will you know if he lies ? Unless you follow him around wherever he goes ?...
Time to let go of the agreement. He's a liar, he's nasty, he's disrespectful, he's possessive, he's pushy.... is he REALLY so great in bed that you want to stand all that ?!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): Thanks for your answers but he is the one who wanted us to only sleep with each other
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (15 September 2012):
 Hi There,
FWB (Friends-With-Benefits) was never meant to be exclusive. Trying to impose commitment based relationship rules on a FWB causes a lot of unreasonable expectations.
If you ever engage in FWB situations again, please check out my articles on being FWB as well as media interviews I did at my website page:
http://www.franktalks.com/friends-with-benefits/
-Frank
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (15 September 2012):
You agreed only to sleep with each other yet this is a friends with benefits arrangement? Well, my question is, which is it? FWB is a no-strings sex arrangement, that means he can sleep with whoever he wants as can you. You clearly want it to be more than FWB, whereas FWB suits him because he knows he can sleep with other people and still call on you whenever he wants sex. Essentially, this means you want two completely different things: he wants FWB, whereas you want some degree of commitment, and the reality is that you’re not going to get it! What can you do? Only one thing: tell him the arrangement’s off, keep your distance and move on. He isn’t going to get the message and change his ways, all he wants from you is sex so you need to be the one to tell him no. Have a bit more respect for yourself and cut this man out of your life.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): Easy, "I'm not having sex with you while you're sleeping with someone else, so stop asking."
That's it, nothing hard about that.
But OP, you had an agreement and he broke it, now he's also acting like an asshole. Time to consider ending this arrangement don't you think?
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