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female
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anonymous
writes: 10 wks ago during a drunken arguement i told my fella to go and he did, he wouldn,t answer my phone calls or reply to my texts for weeks it broke my heart. 3 wks later we began to talk as we had a holiday booked for a wk after. I secretly hoped we would get back together but it never happened. I started to go out and bumped in to him a few times and after leaving the pub one night i broke my heart once again. i woke up the following morning thinking time to move on as it was now 8wks passed.A fella asked me out a fortnight before and when he asked me again i decided why not as my ex didnt want me. The new fella made me feel really good about myself and made me laugh like i hadnt for a long time and i really liked him. My ex seen us out one night and said never to talk to him again amongst other things but the hurt didnt seem to be there any longer as my attentions were now elsewhere. A day later my ex rang to apologise and then started texting wanting me back and as i have only had one date with this other fella i decided to go back only now things are not the same as before and i found myself texting the other fella and he was understanding and said he would give me time to decide what to do and we also decided texting each other was not a good idea as i was not compfortable with it (i felt like cheat) and he stated that he wouldnt like it if we were together and i was texting someone either so that was that. 2 wks have passed and i cannot stop thinking about what may have been and it takes all i have not to text him. Meanwhile i dont know if i made the right decision though i do love my boyfriend i just dont feel the same about things. i dont want to hurt my boyfriend as he have been hurt before and the reason he never returned my calls before is that he was afraid to give me another chance because i hurt him and he didnt want that again, now we are back and i just dont know what to do or what i want anymore. Please help !
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (16 May 2006):
 You'd broken up with your boyfriend, been through the part where you hoped things would turn around and you'd get back together, probably cried buckets for him when you realised you wouldn't, and basically went through the process of healing a broken heart.....Once you decided to move on and started seeing someone else who it seems you really like, your ex wanted you back!
Of course you feel differently about the relationship now, who would go through the nightmare of a break up, come out the other side and it have no effect on them? What you have to decide is if you are now really happy with your b/f or are you basically "over him", this could be the problem. How many of us think when we are going through the heartache of a breakup that'll we'll never meet anyone who makes us feel that happy again, will never love anyone else..... You are proof that given time we can all get over a broken heart and move on and find someone else to be happy with again. If you think you will be happier with the guy you fell for after the breakup with your b/f, make yourself available again and go for it!
Good luck!
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (16 May 2006):
 It sounds like you like the new man rather more, and it also seems like your relationship with your boyfriend has been troubled in the past so it might not even work out for the best anyway. The new man sounds really nice and very patient. It is nice that you don't want to cheat but there is nothing to say that you have to stay with your boyfriend. It seems interesting that he only developed a renewed interest in getting back together when another man was on the scene. I like to think that things happen for a reason, and maybe with you having met a new man you actually realised you were better off without the old boyfriend and perhaps you love him without actually being in love with him. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (16 May 2006):
 Listen take my advise...get outta there and go for it with the other fella...there is no point in being in a relationship with someone if you can't stop thinking of someone else because it is a betrayal. Its unfair of you to hang in on a relationship if you are not in it wholeheartedly...you might think you are gonna hurt your bf but it will hurt him a lot more if he finds out you liked someone else and were texting someone else while yiz are together...tell your bf that it just isn't working out, don't mention anyone else, its too much of a coincidence that he wants you back having seen you with someone else. He has hurt you before and don't forget that, the reason he said those nasty things is because it annoyed him that you decided to move on! Come on like he expected you to hang on when he told you he didn't wanna be with you...take it from someone who has experienced this recently! Move on! Do it for yourself! Best of luck and keep me posted!
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