A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi i've been with my bf for 4 months now and feel ready for the next step with him (we have done other stuff but not that) i think he is too (it will be his first time not mine) just i don't know how to bring it up with him.Things had been bad but now eveything is sorted and cool but i really want to be but don't know how to ask him what he thinks can any one help like give me a few ideas on how to ask him Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (23 April 2007):
 I like cd206's answer, but I'd like to add to it. Go get yourself on some birth control first. The pill works pretty well and I recommend it (it also has the benefit of regulating your period, bonus!). But you have to have a period so you can be at the right time of your cycle to start then wait through your first month on the pill before it's safe. So you're at least 28 days from being safe using this method.
While you're waiting to be safe, talk about it with him. (If you can't talk about it with him, you shouldn't do it with him. It sounds unsexy, but it's a good rule to follow.)
If he's not a virgin too, ask whether he's willing to be tested for STDs (if he's not a virgin and he's not willing to be tested, use a condom every time, even if you're on the pill). Until you're safely on the pill (or whatever method(s) you choose) make sure you're using condoms.
Also, decide why you want to have sex with him. For just the experience? Because you're in love and want to express it? How will you feel if he's in a different space than you are (what if he's just having fun with you and doesn't want a future?) If you're both in the same place, then go ahead and have fun (once you're safe (grin))! But you set yourself up for some emotional pain if you're in different places, so think about it first.
My answer is too long, but I hope it helps you. Good luck!
A
female
reader, Keria +, writes (20 April 2007):
It spring time. The birds are singing, and everythings blosoming. Now is a great time. Just start making little suggestions to him. Then start making love to him. Traditionally women thought we had to wait for men to start making the first moves. There is no natural reason why it should be so. He might be really shy, so just love him, and make love to him. Afterwards, give him lots of reasuring hugs.
...............................
A
female
reader, XXpussycatXX +, writes (20 April 2007):
hiya
well things like that just happen but you also need to speak to your bf to see how he feels you just need to be open with him just tell him that you want to be physical with him and that you are ready if he is..if he aint then you have to be patient and wait for nature to take its course
...............................
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (20 April 2007):
 I think you need to be totally comfortable bringing up and talking honestly about sex with your partner before you're ready to do it. It might be worth waiting a bit longer til you feel like that.
CD
...............................
|
