A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've married to my husband for 20 years. I've always love sex and have high sex drive. Into my late forty now my sex drive has gone down a bit but I still like to have sex though I dont have an orgasm every time we make love. My husband said I am abnormal, that I should control myself. He is 10 years older than me and can live without sex. What should I do? Please advise.
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female
reader, Bean317  +, writes (22 March 2008):
Sounds like he is abnormal for not wanting it. Maybe he's got a problem or insecurity and doesn't want to admit it. Get a toy or try to talk with him. See if you can compromise.
A
male
reader, oldbiker +, writes (22 March 2008):
 Hi Anon,
Firstly your husband is playing to type by dismissing your desires as abnormal. Does he have a stressful job, is he tired in the evening, does he bring his job home with him? These strains can make it easy for him to say he can live without sex rather than making time for you. If this is the reason, then I'd be tempted to try and lure him away for a relaxing weekend away from these stresses. You should/may find that he is able to rediscover those pleasures and can take them back to his normal daily life.
One problem after many years of marriage, is that you can take each other for granted and it becomes difficult to sit down and talk about the things that concern you both. I don't know if this is relevant in your case but if it is, it may be that if you can draw out his problems, he, in turn, will listen to your problems.
Hope this may be of some help.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (22 March 2008):
 a Man said " i can live without sex" and he calls you abnormal...
have you sat and spoke to him properly about this?
the ins and outs of what he likes and what he doesn't?
how often to you have sex? you might wanna consider buying a range or toys and strave him of sex and attention. you'd be surprised how things switch around.
its really something you need to talk out with him. if he just keeps with his " oh i don't need sex" thewn simply tell him that you do.. hell him how he seels about you joining a swingers club :D
seriously though this is something you have to tlak out with your husband. ok admittedly not everyone will ahve as strong a sex drive as the next. but theres usually a reason why things go quiet in the bedroom.
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A
female
reader, TEMPTED +, writes (22 March 2008):
I am right there with ya honey! I am 49 and my sex drive is at its max peak of all time. I have read that women peak in their 40's. Any way, my husband always says where were you when I was 18? He is in his mid/late 50's. It has become a real problem, especially since I have a younger male friend (in his 40's) who always says I am so sexy. The problem is that neither one of us wants to cheat on our spouses, but oh the temptation is so there!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): i suggest you invest in personal toys. if you want sex and hes not giving it, then you should take care of it yourself.
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