A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so I currently have a girlfriend but she's been telling me lies for awhile, and to make matters worse my ex comes into the picture and tells me that she still likes me and wants to get back together, so this puts me in a tight spot, I still have feelings for my ex which is making matters worse to, I don't mean to sound like a jerk or douche bag but I want to break up with my girlfriend because I'm tired of the lies she's telling me,and get back with my ex because I really started to love her, but how do I break up with m gf without completely devastating her
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male
reader, foolishsage +, writes (17 January 2011):
 you are young and have an entire world waiting for you. Lies don't become anyone - that one has to go if that's what you're feeling. You can't avoid hurting someone when you break up with them - it's a fact of life - unfortunately.
Not sure why exactly you and your "ex" didn't work out before, but tread cautiously.
For one thing, it's inadvisable to swing from one tree immediately to the next without pause. Take a break and get yourself re-centered and make sure that you're being true to who you are.
If it is truly a goal of yours to be in the marines, then see to it and do it. You are the person that you are and you should not sacrifice one of your true life goals simply to make somebody else happy. Your goal isn't trivial - it's a choice about what you want to do, who you want to be, how you want to live your life. That's too large of a thing to simply not follow through with because somebody else would rather you didn't. Be true to you. And in that sense again - take a minute and re-center yourself.
Good luck, my friend - you have the whole world out there in front of you.
A
male
reader, casiopt +, writes (17 January 2011):
do yourself a favor. get as far away from the liar as you can. if you cant trust em your life will be hell. you will thank me.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 January 2011):
 Start returning the "favor" Tell her a few whopers and see how she responds.
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A
male
reader, Okiefrommuskogee +, writes (17 January 2011):
"And also I plan on joining the Marines when I'm old enough but neither my current gf or my ex want me to go, so should I continue with my goal or stay to make them happy"
A: Don't ever make life decisions just to make a female happy...you need to make decisions to make YOU happy. As for the rest, I would dump the girl who is lying to me and get back with your ex if you want to, personally though I would try to meet new women.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (17 January 2011):
 That depends on how strongly you feel about either of them when the time comes to decide. If you are adamant about joining the marines then you can join them and you can only ask that your girlfriend (whoever that may be at the time) support you. If you feel strongly about your girlfriend, if you actually love her, perhaps you should stay, you would be making her happy, you need to ask yourself whether or not her happiness brings you any sort of joy.
Whilst she does need to respect and support your choices, you also need to consider whether she is willing to wait for you while you are gone, will her feelings for your falter while you are away? Think deeply about it.
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd also I plan on joining the Marines when I'm old enough but neither my current gf or my ex want me to go, so should I continue with my goal or stay to make them happy
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (17 January 2011):
She should not be devastated. She should have expected this after lying to you so many times. The truth is, there is no easy way to break up with someone, be honest with her at least and tell her that her you cannot allow yourself to be tormented by her lies anymore and tell her that whilst you still care about her (assuming you do), you just do not feel the same way about her anymore. Do not raise your voice, do not let anger escape your throat. Be kind, be gentle with her.
I hope that helps.
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