A
female
age
26-29,
*aandaaOlveraa
writes:well heres the problem, ive been dating this guy for two months, and everything is great but at times he changes into a complete different person. Like today for example i asked him who some of the girls in his facebook were and he said well most of them are my cousins and like three are girls from church. i didnt say anything i just checked his friends, and i saw this girl there that i dont get along with very well, and i asked him do you know her and hes like no i dont i just added her like 15 minutes ago so i went at it with him because literraly he lied to me saying that the girls in there were his cousins and some girls from church. so we started arguing about it and he deleted her and he started going at it with me telling me to delete every single guy in my facebook, i did it so he would just shut up but he kept going at it so i put on my status, " youre worse than a little 2 year old, you give me a headache" and he told me you know what ill talk to you tomorow or maybe even the day after tomorrow bye, and im like no come on i was mad sorry, and hes like no bye i was like alright i understand, and hees like good bye...but this is not the first time he acts like this there are many other times he just i dont know, he just turns into another person..right now were not talking, and we havent tried fixing it..idk what to do..im just scared to lose him...what do i do?
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female
reader, MaandaaOlveraa +, writes (18 January 2011):
MaandaaOlveraa is verified as being by the original poster of the question thankyou all for your advice, i really appreciaate it(:
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): If he has constant mood swings, especially related to things like this, do yourself a favor and dump him now before you get even more attached.
I have a feeling this will not end well.
Don't ever get so attached to anyone that they become more important than your own health and well being.
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A
female
reader, la hindu  +, writes (17 January 2011):
look,i grew up with mostly guys so i learned a few things..for starters you cant let your man think you arent trusting him.theres always that point where they'll get annoyed and be like FUCK IT!but even so i honestly think you went about this the right way,tell him how you were thinking.yes apologize,be sincere,but tell him that it was an honest question!like some guys dont get fuckin jelous is such bullshit!remind him,what if it was you with the strange guys?would he ask you out of curiousity?also remind him its your right as his girlfriend to be honest and ask questions like this.just as much as its his right to do the same.hes YOUR man.so apologize,tell him you were curious as to why he lied first and that you just wanted an honest answer,but that your sorry and you didnt mean anything by it.you were just being a girlfriend!so dont think you were wrong,BE STRONG,tell him what he wants to hear,but also something you want him to hear.give him a little time to calm his ass down and hopefully he;ll see it from your point of view and a little of his.remember you always have to let the guy think its his idea and he's the one who;s forgiving you when really its the other way around..hope it works out,GOOD LUCK MAMITA!
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (17 January 2011):
Hi there. Perhaps don't check on facebook quite so often. The more you look at his facebook, the more likely you are to find things you don't want to see.
All it does is upset you. It's really not worth the upset it's causing you.
Try not to question him about it anymore. Try not to even think about it, if you can. Most of it is probably completely innocent and harmless anyway.
To check on his facebook serves no purpose for you anyway. All you are doing is the equivalent to checking up on him - keeping tabs on him. He probably doesn't like it either.
It does sound to me like it's getting in the way of happiness for both of you. You question him, so he has to defend himself all the time. It is putting him on the spot almost constantly, and causing him some stress, no doubt. Already you are arguing over it.
It might be best to give him some space for now, and don't contact him for a while (say a week or two) - no Facebook either - and wait for him to get in touch with you again. But you have to be patient. You do need to wait. No matter how long it takes.
It's possible that he sees it as controlling behaviour and it might be pushing him right away from you. You are seeing signs of this now, from what you have said here.
So lay low from now on, keep calm and don't worry about it at all. Then see after about 2 weeks, if he does contact you again. It could even be anything up to a month or so.
At first he might try to send you a message on his Facebook, or text you. But as you won't be checking on Facebook, you won't see that message. Also, don't answer his text messages either. Just delete them instead - without reading them. Eventually, he will have no choice but to call you on the telephone.
When that happens (and it probably will), just be kind and respectful towards him - no questioning him about those mystery women on his Facebook page, nothing at all like that. Avoid it at all costs. Otherwise if you don't, you might lose him altogether - permanently.
I'm quite sure that you don't want that, do you?
In the meantime, just go out and about having fun in your own life, making it as interesting and fun as it can be. Then you won't be so inclined to think about him quite so much in future.
Hope it all goes well for you. Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): well,iv'e grown up with almost all boys my whole life.whether father ,brother,or cousin,and learned very good tips on how to keep a man.you can of course always ask your man "who is this girl?" but one thing you have to know is you cant hound him.every guy needs that ability to have girls who are friends and not have to worry about their main squeeze.if you want him back,dont just say i was mad..you have to let him know entirely how you were thinking, he cant blame you for being curious!like no guys ever get jelous and want to know who some guys are is such bullshi!look,tell him your sorry and that you may have over reacted but remember to stay strong. its perfectly normal to be wierded out about girls and your man,because after all he is YOURS!so apologize,give him space, and try not to be asking questions he may take wrongly as if you dont trust him,but dont back down.every girlfriend has the right to worry about her man!its honesty dammit!
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