A
female
age
36-40,
*ebe girlie
writes:dear all, what i think is that i have a psycological problem.. i feel that in a way i stopped being social and stopped exprssing myself or getting involved in conversations..this is mostly happening with my family in law.. my husband's parents are very good peole but very talkative and self centered .. they always talk about themselves and always interrupt you...and two of my husband sisters just piss me off sometimes they totally ignore me and they make me feel un welcome and sometimes when i come they leave to their rooms or throw hints at me and others they are nice....as for the others they all think they know everything in the world and everybody is beneath them... i hate going there now i just dont feel comfortable..my husband is so attached to his family and wants me and him to impress them in anyway he even wants me to call my baby after his mother but i refused...he even gives me a lecture on how to act before we arrive there im just fed up.....and so tongue tied that i agree with anything they say..i cant be myself..its complicated i hope u understand me all and help me...:( Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): This is a common problem, and up to now it seems you have fought against simply being agreeable. It is good to maintain your individuality but in these situations it is best to pick your battles.
It sounds like you don't have a lot of respect for his family because they haven't shown you a lot of respect. Maybe this will change with time, maybe they just need time to get use to a new member of the family. But no matter what, if you want to relieve yourself of some of the stress, your going to have to stop taking them so seriously.
No doubt your husband is proud of you and what you share with him. The best way to handle his family is by working on your diplomatic skills, which can be a fine art when dealing with in-laws. Remember you aren't doing anything for them, but for your husband so that he feels comfortable.
For the most part when they start bragging or start into a controversial topic, it is best just to smile and listen politely. Chances are you aren't going to change their minds and they won't really care what you think. So be the bigger person and just sit there politely and in your own mind you can laugh a little. Other times you might feel like you need to respond to something, but always address an issue without anger or frustration.
They are who they are and maybe they will change with time but for now just try to take them less seriously.
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