A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A friend of mine recently got engaged, and then broke the engagement off last weekend. Her now ex-fiance stated "that was a total waste of $4500" (meaning the amount that he spent on the engagement ring.) I personally agree that $4500 is too much to spend on a ring, and although my boyfriend agreed, I can't help but wonder if he is a little bit cheap, or if I am silly for thinking that. He said that he could never justify spending more than $500 bucks on an engagement ring. He is 25, and financially stable, owns a house, etc.Is it ridiculous to think one deserves a bit more than that, from someone who could financially afford it? I know a ring does not determine someones amount of love for another person, but it is something that is worn usually 24/7 in our country, to show to others the bond and committment between a couple. What are your thoughts? Have any of you ever received an engagement ring that you weren't satisfied with? How did you handle the situation? Thanks!
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female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (21 August 2011):
 1. No matter what anyone says to you, you will always feel that $500 is cheap. You place a lot of value on the engagement ring, since it is a life-long investment; something you will be wearing for the rest of your life. Flat screen TVs, furniture, laptops and other electronics are more expensive than that AND you'll have to replace them multiple times in your life. 2. Don't let anyone make you feel as if you're being silly or unreasonable - you're not. You even said yourself that $4,500 is a lot for a ring, so it's not like you're some high maintenance woman who wants a 10,000 ring minimum (and high-maintenance is OK too if you and the man can afford that kind of a lifestyle). 3. Ask yourself is your boyfriend cheap with other things, like your birthday, Christmas, or Valentine gifts? Does he ever take you out to dinner somewhere nice? How about himself? Does he spend money on himself and his toys? If he is willing to spend more money on himself, but not the other in his life people , I would run for the hills. If he is cheap all-around, you'll have to decide if you you want to be with someone with different values (I'm assuming you're not cheap).4. lastly, I asked my fiance to return the ring he proposed with. I liked the ring, he bought me the style I wanted antique), but I wasn't loving it. So we went back to the jeweler and I picked out my own ring. In retrospect, it would have been much better if we had gone together and if I had picked it out myself. So I always recommend the woman choose pick her own ring, unless she is really easy to please and doesn't care what she is presented with.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2011): You should pick the ring out together so you get what you want. You're going to wear it. Second, the price is completely up to you, some people will be happy with an inexpensive ring, other people want more. If he can afford more and you want that he should pay it. Unfortunately whatever ring you end up with, your marriage may still end up failing, so always remember what is really important, the ring is a symbol, but it's not the most important thing.
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A
female
reader, Mummy86  +, writes (20 August 2011):
 it shouldnt matter about the price be grateful if he asks you!
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A
female
reader, bunnyblueeyes +, writes (20 August 2011):
 I wouldn't be unsatisfied with any engagement ring. As long as he thought about it and picked something you'd love who cares? It could cost 1 pound, but it would be priceless because as you said, its a symbol of your love and everlasting relationship.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (20 August 2011):
$500 is nothing if he could afford better than yes your boyfriend does sound a little cheap you can.t put a price on how much you love someone
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (20 August 2011):
 My wife has been wearing her engagement ring 24/7 for coming up on 25 years. It wasn't huge or ostentatious, but it clearly was good quality since it looks just the same as when I bought it. If memory serves I paid $2,400 for it in 1987. I won't go in to what an enormous stretch that was at the time.
$500 is ridiculous for someone who can afford better. $500 is a piece of junk. I don't know what quality costs today, prices are different so maybe it doesn't need to be $4,500. But let's get real -- you want something that will last, and $500 isn't even close.
Another comment -- think of where you might be in 25 years. While we were poor back then, and are anything but now, my wife isn't looking to get that ring reset. She's proud to wear it. Modest as it might be compared to what her colleagues can afford, it's perfectly presentable. I stretched back then to get her something that she'll be happy to wear forever.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2011): First off, when an engagement is broken a boyfriend/girlfriend is entitled to claim the ring back as the ring is a symbol of pre-marriage, once the plans of marriage are broken the ring no longer symbolizes this and your friend should give the ring back....There is a reason a stated that, and its because if your boyfriend is scared to spend more than $500 on your engagement ring it may be because of what just happened to your friend. He may be scared that if he spends too much on a ring and you split- he will have wasted a lot of money. That said, I personally think $500 is a good amount to spend on an engagement ring because the actual wedding ring itself is the important piece. I have twice received engagement rings I was dis-satisfied with, however I was too happy with the moment to complain. I just sort of automatically took to the rings because I was overcome with excitement at my boyfriend proposing.Be greatfull for whatever your boyfriend gets you as its his actions that count.not the amount he spends.
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