A
male
age
30-35,
*csk8erx607
writes:ok before i ask my question let me tell you some information first... so i was in a 2 year relationship with my recently ex girlfriend. our sex drive towards each other was very strong...we had no problems with that pretty much as soon as i would see her i would go crazy haha anyways we broke up about a 2 months ago and she already has a new boyfriend so i decided i would put my self out there and try and find some one to make me happy as well. so i did me and this girl went on a few dates and talked all the time things were going good. i took her to dinner then brought her to my house for a movie...we started making out and taking clothes off. she goes down on me and i cant get hard...this was really embarrassing i told her i keep thinking about my ex and thats my problem... "this is the same bed me and my ex used to cuddle in and everything" i said. this has once happened to me before when my ex cheated on me and we broke up before and i hooked up with a girl and couldnt get hard. i know the problem is mental not physical. i really want this problem to go away im really starting to get nervous because when i try and do it myself i cant even get myself all the way hard. im young im only 18 i know i dont have anything wrong like ED i believe its cause of my past relationship with my ex lover im over her but yes i still think about her from time to time but thats normal right? so can some one please help me out with my problem? why cant i get hard to another girl? and why am i starting to only be able to get myself half way up? is it a mental issue i need to over come? i really want to start a new relationship and move on with my life but im scared to have this happen again to me somebody please help me out.
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broke up, cheated on me, ex girlfriend, move on, my ex, sex drive Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2011): As long as you are still getting hard sometimes, even if it is only when you wake up. Then there is nothing physically wrong with you. It is an emotional state. It is going to take you around 6 months to even start to get over your break up. General rule is 3 months recovery for every year together. So don't rush into anything with someone else just yet. Allow yourself some time to grieve for the loss of your relationship. You HAVE to heal from the inside out and your body is subconsciously telling you that you aren't doing that. Hence the trouble 'keeping it up'. It is a very common occurrence and happens to most men at some time or other. My partner has had a couple of bouts of it when he has been depressed and he's recovered just fine. It is nothing to be embarrassed about. You are a human being who has been hurt, not a mindless sex machine. So don't feel badly about it or panic. Things are going to be OK. Just put it to the back of your mind for now and get busy doing practical things. Buy yourself a new bed and bedding, something that will not remind you of the past. Change your bedroom around. Be ruthless and discard the things you have around you that remind you of your ex. Making changes like that will help you to move on. And find someone you can talk to about how you feel about the break up.No one recovers from a two year relationship in 8 weeks, not even your ex girlfriend who is busy rebounding like a rubber ball! So talk about how you feel to someone, get things off your mind. When you carry a 'burden of thoughts' it can become too heavy to manage by yourself. So talking to someone who cares is great because you take a piece of that burden, give it to them and they help you carry it. In essence that is what we women are doing when we 'share' with others. It can work for men too! So get busy clearing out your room and talking more and things will right themselves soon. All the best.
A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (20 August 2011):
you have just got to give yourself time obviously you are not over your ex yet that takes time this is your bodys way of telling you you are not mentally or physically ready yet if your new girlfriend genuinely likes you she will wait till your ready in the meantime don,t try any sexual for a while
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (20 August 2011):
 Bud, you're trying too hard and too soon. The plumbing simply cannot work if your brain isn't onside. You were in a LT relationship, you were in love. You have to get over that, and you aren't. It doesn't matter how hot the girl is, if your brain is saying it's not on, well...
Clearly two months isn't long enough to get over her. When you genuinely fall for another girl, without thoughts of your ex, everything will work out. In the meantime, just chill.
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