A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. Any advice from men/women would be greatly appreciated. I need some opinions as I just do not know what to think about this one and how to act or even if I am overreacting!Seeing this guy, who originally I saw maybe once/twice a week, just a casual thing really. We would be in contact every couple of days, I never played games or anything with him and I would always call him back when I was free, if I had missed a call etc. So anyway, a few weeks ago he was the one who stepped it up. I never pressured him in anyway about where this was going or mentioned relationships or demanded to see him etc. So a few weeks ago he was wanting to see me a lot more on most nights. He kept telling me that I didn't understand how much he liked me. He introduced me on 1 weekend to his friends/family, etc, spent a lovely weekend together, told me he didn't want to date anyone else, and he hoped I wasn't. Then the next day he dissapeared!!! Midweek I spoke to him he was too busy to talk, so I just said no probs would speak soon. A couple of days later I get one message to ask how I am and he has been so busy (I was actually busy, so I did not reply maybe I should have now!). The next night I saw him out (he was working) so we didn't get to chat, but he asked everyone where I had gone when I went. The next day I texted him to ask if he was ok, he sent such a short one back! Literally a yeah! I just said I had missed speaking to him ... Nothing!A week later I had still not heard from him. I missed talking to him a lot and realised how much I liked him, so I called him and he told me it was so good to hear from me, but he was at work so could he call back. He did, but I missed his call, so I tried calling once I noticed my missed call (I had been out). No answer!A day later, I called him in the evening and we chatted. I asked if he fancies popping over for a drink, he declines and says he is busy helping his friend out and he would speak to me the next day. But he didn't call and nothing!Is this a classic case of he's just not into me? Should I just leave it now and move on?
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female
reader, shannon elizabeth +, writes (9 February 2011):
A girl I know has a theory about situations like this. She reckons that some guys get scared if they start to have feelings for a girl and back right off. I know she would tell you to back off because he will call you. He probably just needs to get his head around things. I know how hard it is, I'm in a similar situation, flipping on, off, on, off for 9 months!! It is so hard, but be strong!!
A
male
reader, airwaterearthfirebender  +, writes (9 February 2011):
 Yes, I'm not buying it either. Rather peculiar to say the least.Here's the litmus test...are you and/or have you been having and or had sex with him?If you can answer that then maybe I can chime in again or you can figure it out for yourself.Or I can just lay it out now. If sex was in the picture then I figure you're just the other and/or one of many others and right now he is really not into you because someone else is looking a lot better to him, for whatever reason. If you haven't had sex, then maybe he's just keeping you around as potentially a backup and/or plan B, C, or D etc. If you haven't had sex, then good on you and just say adios muchacho!Noticing how you mention this was a casual thing, then methinks the former scenario is more likely the case. In which caseEither way, as far as you should be concerned he's probably not into you enough for you to be any sort of priority. And frankly, doesn't seem like you are that into him either. He feeds you a few lines on how he's into you and then disappears...I mean these are low order immature tactics and/or sheer apathy and/or both. Leave him to play with his own kind, unless of course you consider yourself in that camp.I mean if it's just a 'casual' thing so to speak, then what's the issue? You get what you sign up for, so why expect more? If you both were really into one another, then this passive laissez-faire attitude wouldn't fly and you would want to see and be with each other all the time. Your current attitudes may suit you well after years of marriage and 1.8 kids later...lol. If I was into you, then I'd definitely want to take you off the market so to speak. You both are treating one another like a fish you can either take or throw back, either way, you're indifferent. You seem to have time to kill every now and again so what the hey I guess, time with him is better than nothing.The way I see it, why not spend time with someone you really want to spend time with and who really wants to spend time with you? This dude doesn't seem to be cutting it, but on the other hand, don't make it into something it is not, or worse, don't buy the load of verbal diarrhea he seems to spew every once and a while to keep you in the picture. His actions and attitude seem to be saying the exact opposite.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (9 February 2011):
 ANy chance that the family is of a different background from your own?
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