| A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Greetings to everyone at dearcupid. ive just literally found this site and im glad i did. for about two years i have had enormous social problems and other things that drove me to severe depression, anxiety but have pushed myself forward cos i dont like to dwell on things. i didnt realize i was so ill cos the term depression is so overused these days that i didnt even consider it. to write what happened in these two years to explain would take YEARS so ill cut it short. As my friends got into parties and that in y11, i was with longterm girlfriend and i left all of them behind because of 15 year old hormones beltin around me and cos i was selfish. I went to a different college to all of them except my girlfriend which fell apart when i got very tired as we didnt get on and i was being trampled all over. i was slowly entwined in this dark shell which isolated me from everyone around me at college. i had no support off my girlfriend but she didnt really understand and i dont blame her, though i was no longer in love and neither was she. I saw a psycologist,made me worse, started medication a few months back and i separated from my girlfriend in the summer just gone which was a very good thing to happen as it was going nowhere. all this has changed me into a different person. I am a loner, sensitive, unlike the majority of lads my age, very mature but quite strong in my mind. But recently, i have developed unbelievebly strong feelings for a girl ive liked for about 3 years. she is in one of my classes, so i have spoken to her every now and then before. So a month ago it was too strong to bear and she had started seeing someone, so i thought ill have to tell her cos i have no chance anyway. so i got her number and text her my feelings. she text back and i found out we had millions of things in common. since then i have spoken to her in person for a great length of time twice. she sort of hinted that i was too late, but she is quite introvert. what i dont understand is, her boyfriend hardly speaks to her. when i see her eyes i melt inside and i think about her all the time the past few months. i dont want to break them up as that would be awful, but i love her so much. Because i am terrified of parties and im not a bigheaded player with confidence leaking out of my ears, i feel that this is the last chance ill ever have at love with someone i adore immensly, as i was never in love with my ex and im not going uni next year. plus, to me she is the one. Do girls actually like sensitive, genuine caring boys or is it just the society im surounded by and shall i pursue this girl anymore? ps im not ugly or anything, i have never said this bfore but people have said im really attractive, even tho i dnt see it.
View related questions:
confidence, my ex, player, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Learning2Love +, writes (13 December 2006):
 You are way too young to think you'll never find love again... What's with that anyway, you've hardly crawled out the crib of life [he sighs, figuratively] and you are already willing to hamstring yourself?
You need to believe in yourself before you can expect anyone else to.
This is the first step. Asking for help. Remember that today is the first day of the rest of your life, the decisions you make today are going to form your tomorrow.
Most amazingly, YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE!
You sound like a good guy and if you keep living your life not having to regret the things you did/didn't do or say, being kind and standing up for yourself and those weaker than you, living with a moral compass to guide you and treating others as you would like them to treat you, you will turn into the kind of man that women [and men] will be proud to be associated with and know.
You already have so much more to offer any girl, let alone one that's been messed around with, hurt, discarded and used than any other self-righteous, self-confident, clueless and pathetic player prick that has never invested himself outside a self serving relationship - because he doesn't want to know or have the guts to believe in something so intangible yet so real as loving someone with your whole heart, mind and soul... because that takes real courage, endurance and spirit. [But then to loose it?...]
One more thing before I climb off this soap box. Depression, contrary to popular belief, is a choice. You can allow it to affect you or not, test this theory for yourself.
God bless you.
A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (13 December 2006):
 Oh dear I think you are without doubt simply "in lust" - you are certainly NOT in love with this girl ! You hardly know her so you cannot be in love with her. Yes lust can feel amazingly strong and will make you think about someone 24/7. I think you are doing the right thing in leaving this couple to themselves for the time being. I would suggest you stay friends with her, try to get to know her a bit better when and if she makes herself available, bearing in mind she is currently showing interest in another guy. You need to be sort out being "terrifed" of parties if you ask me and one major attraction principal is confidence, you can learn to become more confident and super-confident too. This invaluable tool in life will set you up for success in every area of your life, work, relationships the lot ! Get researching and learning confidence and you will find many many girls to choose from. A good book I read recently is called "Feel the fear and do it anyway !" I highly recommend it to anyone for all sorts of issues ! You will realise that you are attractive as you get older, it's one of those amazing and comforting things that will surprise you. Women love confident, sensitive, genuine, caring and even cocky men with a bit of attitude in the right way of course !
...............................
A
female
reader, laura ann +, writes (13 December 2006):
 It sounds like you really like her, why dont you take a leaf out of my book and be selfish for once! life is way to short to be thinking about every one elses feelings put your self first, tell her how you feel, then if she doesn't want to go out with you its her decision at least you wont hve the regret, and youcan look for someone else.you havn't lived yet so dont be so down!i hope i've helped but very much doubt that i did!
...............................
|
