A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am so broken hearted and I can't stop crying. For almost four years I loved someone and put up with so much just to ultimately end up with nothing. I feel so used and taken for granted, and I'm not the type that even ends up in these kinds of situations normally. It was on again, off again, never introduced me to any of his family or friends. After dating for a couple years it finally came out that he was married, so I called it off immediately. Then eventually he comes around, claims they're over and he's moved out, and he's behaving in accordance with what he's saying, so I gave him another chance because I still loved him and cared for him. He met my children, some of my family, and everything. Then he up and changes his mind again. That hurt, but I could've lived with that. What's sending me over the edge right now is that a week after that I found out I was pregnant. I wanted the baby, but I'm not equipped to handle a third child, as I already have two from a previous marriage and single parenting isn't easy. He didn't want the baby at all. I wanted the child, but I can't handle or afford another child by myself. He offered child support, but there's a lot more to raising a child than cashing a check each month. If I felt I could've made it on my own, I would've kept it, but I just can't for lots of reasons. And I didn't want him or his family treating my baby like a little outcast. It's bad enough he hid me, my child didn't deserve that. If it helps make any sense, he's Indian and I'm black, so there's that whole cultural difference thing going on. I have to believe that that's a major factor in all of this.So yesterday I terminated the pregnancy. I also blocked him from being able to call or text me. How do I move on past all of this grief and forgive myself, and I guess him, too? I want and know I deserve better for myself but I'm just so angry and hurt and heartbroken over my baby. Please help.
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female
reader, MamaBear +, writes (19 March 2011):
Oh, how I wish you had given your child up to a family desperately wanting a child. But now is too late for that. This involves both you and he but, I think, you will pay a dear price for this "romance" and the termination of the pregnancy. Yes, another child would be a big responsibility and far more than a monthly support check in the mail. Ask yourself if you would have carried resentment toward the child because of his/her father's choice? If necessary, you may have to seek some professional counseling to move on in your life. The next time, ask yourself if a guy is worth any and all heartache he may bring to the romance. Think seriously about your next relationship and try to choose a person of the same race and background. It should make it easier for you and the two children you now have.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): Time heals....Just make up your mind after grieving(which is normal) to put this behind yu.....Learn the very important lessons from this experience and do not let your pain blind you to the message..take care
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A
female
reader, lostconfusedandtired +, writes (19 March 2011):
This horrible what your going through and it really hurts right now but I promise you time will heal you. But you have to understand that indian men will never leave their wives.he told you things so you would be his mistress. This is a very selfish man that is inconsiderate of anyone elses feelings. You deserve beer then this and I know you made the right decision. It was very mature of you to think that this life you would be bringing in to this world would lack a lot of things that children deserve. Thank goid for your two beautiful children you have now and focus on them . And please stop all contact with this man that haas put you in this situation by lying and cheating. Good luck to you!
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