A
female
,
anonymous
writes: i started seein an ex a couple of months ago. We were gettin on really well althogh he made it clear from the start that he didnt want anything heavy and committed, as he had just come out of a relationship. But naturally as time passed, I wanted more committment from him and although I didnt make that known, it was obvious because I would get jealous over other girls, and who else he was spending time with. Anyway, we had a little argument last week and he called everythin off. The argument was so petty that I cant believe that he doesnt want to see me again becos of it. We have stayed friends tho. But I want him back. Ive decided to ignore him, as I herd this is a good way of getting sumone back, but gave in, and text him today askin if he had a good weekend, he replied and was fine. But now I feel so desperate to contact him and ask him to meet me but I dont want to appear too desperate. Its doing my head in, i wanna get him back, but I dont know how.
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female
reader, betty backstabber +, writes (11 August 2008):
See, this is exactly the same way as i was, i'm sorry to be comparing the two of us and everything but each time he would leave me i would spend months trying to move on from him and just as i would get to a stage where i felt like i could he would jump right back in.
What gives them the right to control our lives and our feelings for that long? If you and him were meant to be together you would be together, there'd be no falling out over petty things for ages and remaining friends and what you wanted wouldn't differ either, because truth be told if he wanted you that much he would want a committed relationship as you do.
It may seem harsh on my behalf but i'm doing it because i know exactly what situation your in, and you need to move on with your life. Stop contacting him, block his number or even better change yours. Its the only way out of it sweetie, honestly i'm saying this for your own good!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni cant just leave him. Ive done that before, well I had to do it before becos he left me for someone else, and it took me 2 years to get over him. Then when I finally was, he comes back into my life. I know I shouldnt of taken him back but I did and fell for him again and was so happy I had another chance with him. Now its gone again. And it was my fault as I started the argument.
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A
male
reader, Limits +, writes (11 August 2008):
I think you already appeared too desperate there dear, texting him after just a week.....leave a couple of weeks go by without contacting him in any way and then plan to "accidentally" bumps into him while going shopping for example and watch closely his reaction but don't fall at his feet if he says "hi how are you?" just hold back and see how it turns up and take it from there...good luck.
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A
female
reader, betty backstabber +, writes (11 August 2008):
i was in this situation for 18 months with an ex of mine, we were on and off for that long and it got us nowhere because it clearly wasn't meant to be. I kept hanging on, and wanting to try again and again to make it work because i really wanted me and him to be together. I was the same as you and wanted a loving and committed relationship, but he just wanted more of a relaxed one and he said i was too clingy in the end and called it off.
If i'm honest with you, i think that once a relationship has broke down it should be left that way, because surely all you want from them is good memories? You don't want to waste months if not years of your life like i did clinging onto this guy when theres so many more out there that will want the same thing as you do. I know it may seem difficult, but truly the best way out of this situation is to leave it and to leave him behind.
hope this helped :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): Best is relax; you are getting yourself all stressed up and it is for him to MAKE THE MOVE; the more you do now, the worse you might make it to get togehter with him again; leave him alone, give him time and space;
Best wishes and lots of SMILES
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