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An already hot & heavy relationship, yet still a kinky twist!?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pornography, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 August 2008) 17 Answers - (Newest, 15 August 2008)
A male United States age 41-50, *arret writes:

Alright, this is mainly a question for the ladies but the men are more than welcome to answer as well. My girlfriend and I have pretty good little thing going, ...especially when it comes to the sex. I'll just put it this way, ITS HOT!!! We're like little rabbits, cause it seems like we're all over the place any time we have the opportunity and we take advantage of it.

We've been together for a pretty good while so we're very comfortable with each other. To get a little more detail, (only because of the questions I'm about to ask) I've watched her T.C.O.B. before and she's watched me T.C.O.B. before as well, ...obviously that turns both of us on. Then when it comes to "other things," she knows I like porn and she's told me she's watched it before, but she hasn't really shown that she's a huge fan of it.

Anyway, last night she had to work until about midnight. I feel asleep on my couch at about 11:00, but then woke up about close to 1:00 am. When I woke, due to the "dream" I was having ..I was a little worked up. So I decided I was going to go over to her place and surprise her for a lil' middle of the night rendezvous!

I would have called ahead, but I wanted it to be spontaneous, so I was just going go over, see if she was still up and then pull the whole "throw a pebble at the window" ...(or just tap on it to get her attention). She has a roommate so being sneaky made it seem little more riskae! When I get there, her bedroom light was on, so I walk up to the window, I'm just about to tap on it to get her attention but I hesitate for a second because of what I see.

She's laying on her bed in panties and a T-shirt, looking at the lap top computer, with "something" in her left hand (at this point, I'm not real sure what's in her hand) and her right hand scrolling on the mouse.

I'm obviously a little curious as to what she's looking at, then all of a sudden I look up and can see the reflection of the screen in the mirror. She was looking at a porn website that she'd heard me talk to her about.

At first, I thought she may have just been looking at it because she was curious to see why I liked it so much. But then while one of the videos was playing she took her hand off the mouse and began T.C.O.B. Then I realized what she had in her other hand, it was a small vibrator. She got up off the bed and came to close the blinds (she couldn't see me because it was so dark outside - if she did, she would have called me). But she didn't close the blinds completely, because I could still see her.

She then went right back to "it." I couldn't help but watch until she finished, and I can't describe how unbelievably turned on that made me, for a couple reasons.

One, I had no idea that she actually liked and watched porn, much less liked enough to watch it and do that by herself.

Two, I do the same exact thing (watch videos on that website and get off, as I'm sure A LOT of other people do too).

However, I didn't know she did, because she's never really said or done anything to give me that impression. Plus ...the vibrator?! I've asked her one time before if she had one, or if she'd ever used one, and her response was "I use to have one, but I don't need one now because you're always there."

I know she stays pretty "riled up" because of how much sex we have, but we already had sex twice yesterday afternoon before she even went in to work! So, I wouldn't have expected her to "want it" again that night, but obviously she did, and she watched porn and used a vibrator to do so?!

I didn't see that coming at all, so needless to say I never tapped or threw a pebble against the window.

My dilemma is on two different issues at hand. Initially, it shocked me a little bit that she even watched porn, and like it that much ...and she hasn't given me any inclination as to the extent of how much she obviously enjoys it.

Secondly, she has and was using a vibrator!? All the while, she said that she didn't have a need for one anymore. I didn't think she threw it away or anything (I'm not completely stupid). But we did already have sex twice that day, and she has an orgasm both times, as did I. I know she did, because she's the brutally honest type that will just flat out say if she did or didn't, regardless of how blunt she puts it. My question / questions is this:

1)Should I be the least bit concerned that she hasn't shown me that side of her? AND

2) Being it turned me on so much, is there any way I can tell her that I saw what happened??

I thought about telling her what happened, but saying it to her like this.

(I.E. "Hey, you have turned me on completely beyond a level that I can describe!"

Then when she asks why / how? I'll say,

"I'll tell ya if you hear me out, promise not to get mad and know that you're just simply turning on your boyfriend and not think I'm being some creepy pervert (cause I understand voyeurism can be creepy)". However, if she says okay, then I'll say "Well, last night I feel asleep on my couch at about 1100, but then woke up about close to 1:00 am. When I woke up, due to the "dream" I was having ..I was a little flustered. I was going to called ahead, but I wanted to be spontaneous so I was just going to come over.

I was hoping I'd see your light on and then if it was, I was going to pull the whole "throw a pebble at the window" or just tap on it, to get your attention. With you having a roommate, being sneaky makes it seem little more riskae! When I got there, your bedroom light was on, so I walk up to the window and I was just about to tap on it to get your attention but I hesitated for just a second because of what I saw. You were laying on the bed in your panties and a T-shirt, looking at the your computer with "something"in your left hand (at this point, I'm not real sure what that is in your left hand) and right hand was scrolling on the mouse. Obviously I was a little curious as to what you were looking at, then all of a sudden I look up and can see the reflection of the computer screen in the mirror. You were looking at that porn website I told you about.

At first, I thought you may have just been looking at it because you were curious to see why I liked it so much. But then while one of the videos was playing you took her hand off the mouse and began to T.C.O.B. yourself.

Then I realized what you had in your other hand, it was a vibrator. Then you got up off the bed and came to close the blinds (You couldn't see me because it was so dark outside - plus if you did, I figured you would have called me).

But you didn't close the blinds completely, because I could still see you. Then you got back in bed and starting watching the videos again, as well as beginning to use the vibrator. I couldn't help but watch until you finished, because I was so turned on!! I can't even describe how unbelievably turned on you made me, for a couple reasons.

One, I had no idea you actually liked and watched porn that much, much less liked it enough to watch it and do that by yourself.

Two, I do the same exact thing, I just didn't know you did?! "

What does everyone think?

View related questions: orgasm, porn, roommate, vibrator

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A female reader, charine13 United States +, writes (15 August 2008):

charine13 agony auntwelllllll, the truth about us girls is, it can be very emabrissing for us to admit that sort of thing. and on one hand you should be flattered in a way because you made her turn on and want more, on the other hand, i would ask her very calmly if she has any other "sexy" secrets. and i think the way you are going to try to tell her what you saw is very well planned out, but i would make a back up plan too, if she sorta freaks out for any reason.

hope i helped!

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A female reader, RitzaD. United States +, writes (12 August 2008):

RitzaD. agony auntWow uncle phil, I loved ur double story. I need to stop laughing now or im gunna wake up my sister.

Uncle phil u made my day, thank u for that. Had a great laugh.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008):

The answers to both your questions is 'No'.

The pebble on the window idea is rather romantic, but if she was asleep would you not need something larger to male a louder noise?

I was in a similar situation some years ago (minus all the extremely lengthy T.C.O.B. story which you told us twice) but I used a fishing rod instead of pebbles as her window was on the first floor. Far more accurate. Around the same time of day as you. All went well until her father went for a piss, heard the tapping sound, stuck his head out the bathroom window and asked me if I was going fishing. I was in a similar situation some years ago (minus all the extremely lengthy T.C.O.B. story which you told us twice) but I used a fishing rod instead of pebbles as her window was on the first floor. Far more accurate. Around the same time of day as you. All went well until her father went for a piss, heard the tapping sound, stuck his head out the bathroom window and asked me if I was going fishing.

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A female reader, lena1 United States +, writes (12 August 2008):

lena1 agony auntthis should not be problem for you!and i think you just pretend you didnot see somthing so this will not cause arguing or you can ask her nicely again if she said no don"t keep asking and know she wants to keep that as secret!!good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008):

I think you like to talk alot buddy....But hey turn it into a game voyerism but tell her. no secrets.

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A male reader, Jarret United States +, writes (11 August 2008):

Jarret is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Sorry Red, ...I meant to say thats some damn GOOD advice!!

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A male reader, Jarret United States +, writes (11 August 2008):

Jarret is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks Red! ...That's some damn advice as well. I'll stick with the Pebble idea, but I'll have to save it for another time, huh?! ;-)

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A male reader, Jarret United States +, writes (11 August 2008):

Jarret is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I think I've handled her needs fairly well thus far. Otherwise, she wouldn't still be around. More than likely, I'd think she kick me to the curb & look else where. The only reason I seemed so shocked is because when I've approached the topic of watching it, she never did back flips & said oh yes, I love porn!!! So it just caught me a little off guard, thats all.

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A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (11 August 2008):

Frank B Kermit agony auntI suggest that you don't tell her anything about being outside her window at this point.

Surprise her with a gift of a new vibrator and tell her you want to watch her use it. Have a new adult video as part of the gift.

Once she gets that you are OK with watching her use the new ones, she will be safe and comfortable enough to tell you about the one she already has.

Just because you have great sex does not mean you can handle all of her sexuality. In fact, you already give the impression that you can not. LOOK AT YOUR POST HERE. If this is the way you talk to her in real life with the exaggerated shock and awe, she has reason enough not to share stuff with you. People will only be as honest with you, as you demonstrate you can handle it.

-Frank B Kermit

http://www.frankadviceformen.com

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A female reader, -Red- Ireland +, writes (11 August 2008):

-Red- agony auntT.C.O.B=Taking Care Of Business?? not too sure.

Hunni. Us girls don't like to admit these things. Sure we'll admit them to other women because we're all the same, but not to men. Not ones we'll ever have to see again anyways so don't take that too hard.

1)Should I be the least bit concerned that she hasn't shown me that side of her?

No. As i said above, there is no reason to be.

2) Being it turned me on so much, is there any way I can tell her that I saw what happened??

No. Afraid not lol I think she would be embarrassed. It's hard to say for other people because im less modest than most lol but most people would be embarrassed by this. You could however try. Next time the both of you get steamed up ask her if she would ever masterbate for you. If she says yes then you would have a better chance of gauging her reaction. If she says no, then no don't say anything about it.

Love the pebble on the window idea btw :D

Good luck novio

xoxox

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A female reader, Spiffeh United Kingdom +, writes (11 August 2008):

Wtf?

if my boyfriend told me he was watching me masterbate to porn i would search my room for cameras! Whatever you do dont tell her you saw her.. Just ask her to pleasure herself infront of you and put on some porn.

But then again she might be against the idea as everyone has their own little secret fetish =] x

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A male reader, Jarret United States +, writes (11 August 2008):

Jarret is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks DiovanLest ...Straight to the point, & some good advice! I appreciate your help.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008):

You like porn, your girlfriend likes porn.. there is no problem.. She lied because she wanted to keep her privacy or she only looked at it because you made her hot for sex.

1)Should I be the least bit concerned that she hasn't shown me that side of her?..... NO!!! Everybody likes to have some secret stuff...

2) Being it turned me on so much, is there any way I can tell her that I saw what happened??...... You just say, I love you, you turn me on, I'd like to see what happens when you think of me and your alone.... Please show me baby, touch yourself and make me hot.....

You talk too much.. make it short and sweet and leave the details of seeing her out... It will creep her out to know your watching her.. But get her hot and tell her you love to watch will set you right up.

I thought about telling her what happened, but saying it to her like this.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008):

Right. When I've got a day and a half spare, I'll try to read the rest of it!

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (11 August 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntI don't know but I'm ready to add it to our DearCupid manual.

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A male reader, Jarret United States +, writes (11 August 2008):

Jarret is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Taking care of business ...they made me tone down the whole story before they could post it. ..Sorry

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008):

Before I read any further than the second paragraph, WTF is a T.C.O.B.?

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