| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My boss is leaving for 1 year next week.I dont work with her much but see her at shift change at times. We are similiar in age, but are VERY differerent, shes outgoing AND popular, esp amongst the 20 somethings at work.Im a quieter person, we dont relate, apart from talking work talk when needed, we have little in common and she rarely has social converstion with me, Ive tried over the yers but she gives me nothing back.. so now its hi and bye and small talk when she's in an ok mood and her clique isn't around..Im always polite to her and there is no bad blood, but nothing in common. Ive tried to be nice, as she's the boss.. but our conversations are difficult, we just cant converse, which is ok, work is work.She is VERY well loved. There is a farewell afternoon tea at work nxt week and as i have the day off, and she is the boss.. and well loved by most.. i was going to come into work for it, to be sociable and seen as part of the team.. or it may look awkward if i dont go.. is this ok? seeing as im not " buddy buddy" with her like many others, there will be many ppl there, and i want to be seen as a team player. do i have to talk to her much? how to say good luck to her? we really dont have much to talk about.. dont want to look awkward, so wish her all the best..? others will hug her, I cant do that! and a handshake is weird.. It will be at work with many people there, including her clique, I dont dislike her! we just dont "get" each other,It would look weird/ awkward if I was too friendly at the tea as we arent buddies socially.. so...I wish her all the best and thats it? Wiull it look weird if I go, I kind of need to go to appear a team player but..i feel nervous. thnks for genuine answersNo nasty comments plse.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): this is the original poster
Its not big deal, Im just asking a question, im not looking for nastiness, its just that we really dont have anything in common, most ppl do,its just a little awkward thatsall!
Thanks for the answers, i do have to say that i DONT work in an office! I work in a hospital which is very very different,there is no hate between us but nothing in common. I work mainly nights so me even being there in the day will look kind of strange to people.
But I will go,even for a little while, to make an effort, of course ill say hello!! (and Ill have to deal with ppl staring and asking "why are you here in the day..?")
I'll wish her good luck, but I wont hug(shes not a buddy and she WONT want to hug me,) it would look fake
and so hypocritical if i initiated it, and shaking her hand would look weirder.
As her clique will all be there.. if i can ill try to make small talk but most likely wont be given the opportunity.
So Ill go and deal with the stares and be a team player, its a group thing and of course ill talk to ppl i get along with there!
I hope that she appreciates my effort,even in a small way,most likely shell forget im even know im there, as her clique will be hanging around her like moths to a flame..
But im part of the team too and so will go to show her that.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 I agree with the others. There is no harm in going and it may actually do some good. There will be plenty of other people there so you don't have to spend one on one time with her.
She might actually appreciate the effort and be a little more friendly when she returns. Assuming of course she does return 9plans change) and you're still there.
Make an appearance. You can always leave early.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 It's just a work thing, just go. She's not going to hang out with her friends, she's going because it's a chance for her to depart from her current professional group. If she's close to her friends they'll either stay friends or she'll have some big separate social going away party. I assume your whole office is going, surely your office consists of more people than her "clique" and yourself, just talk to other people. You're making this into a much bigger deal than you need to. She's not going to come up and hug you and she's not going to expect you to either. She will expect to see your face there, and that's it. You don't even have to talk to her unless she approaches you. Just go, hang around, talk with other people you get along with, and then leave.
You don't avoid coming to work just because you don't get along, this going away party is just part of going to work. No different from any other environment. This will be way less awkward than standing around by the microwave trying to make small talk.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 October 2012):
 I would go out of common decency. You don't have to pretend anything. I would say showing up is the RIGHT thing to do. You would like for people to do the same for you, right? Even if you weren't BEST BUDS?
You won't have to hug or shake her hand - I'm sure she will be busy talking to the people she really "get" and who really "get" her, just go, mingle and try and enjoy it.
It really is no big deal.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 I would not sweat it that much. This is a social , somewhat formal function, it's not a close buddies thing
where you'd look hypocritical showing up. If the polite thing is to attend and wish her well , then just be your normal polite self, attend ,enjoy your tea and pastries, and wish her well. A " good luck " costs nothing and should not be denied to anybody. Also considering that there is no hostility or bad blood between you, you just aren't close friends. But one can be nice also to normal acquaintances, it's not that big of an effort.
You won't have to entertain her one on one, - you can just sort of blend with the landscape, maybe tell her " you must be so excited " or some other perfunctory platitude, and thank her for the tea party when you leave. You don't have to hug her if you don't feel like ( I get you, I think it's silly hugging people you barely talk to ), no worries , a handshake will be perfect IF accompanied by a smile. Or even just the smile. As sincere as you can muster, which should not be that hard, since after all she has not done anything wrong or bad to you,right ?
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