A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A long time ago in college there was a girl who was very close to me, very touchy feely and all that. I fancied her, had a really huge crush. Though I didn't know it, she had friend zoned me. One day she said she was moving to the west coast and will be leaving our college. I confessed my love to her but she rejected me and avoided me after that.After she left I tried adding her on Facebook. She didn't approve my request for several months and when she finally did add me, she put me on one of those outsider lists where I could not see anything, no photos, nothing. Never even replied my emails.After 2 years of moping, brooding, and several hundred bottles of beer I finally got over her. I did what most people did to move on, I deleted her from my friends list.I eventually forgot about her. I backpacked in europe, got a job, worked for a few years in japan, finally lived my own life.Yesterday, out of the blue, after 10 years, she decided to add me on Facebook. But now she allowed me to see all her posts, photos.She added me on Valentine's Day. Why?Is she trying to hint something? Why contact me on Valentine's day? She has initiated contact but she seems just friendly, no flirty messages. She just asked me questions like how are you, been a while. I want to push her away but don't want to seem rude. This girl is very bad for me. What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2020): I am the OP.
Too late. Against my better judgement I continued chatting with her. I was initially curious and thought I could resist her.
From her Facebook it seems like she was in a long term relationship with some dude for 5 years. There are numerous photos of them together until about 2 years ago. I spied on that dudes Facebook and found out he is now married but not to her. No idea what her status is. No mention on her Facebook.
Not sure how she does it, but she has me under her spell again. She wants to meet up this weekend. She said she is thinking about going back to college, she never finished college when she was young. She said she remembers the good times we had together as course mates.
I know I sound pathetic but I feel that I have no control over my actions. My rational mind says I should not agree to meet her, but somehow I my fingers moved and typed Yes. Maybe it's because I just broke up with my girlfriend 7 months ago and am pretty depressed myself, lonely. I have begun dating someone new but nothing serious yet, have not had sex with her. I have not been laid for 7 months. I find myself fapping to her Facebook photos the last few nights.
Appreciate any advice for controlling my mind. Jedi mind tricks, whatever...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2020): Look man, don t be a fool and get sucked back in to Touchy Feely Round Two! She is in a slow spell right now and wants to be worshipped again, and you of course came to mind. Don t give he the satisfaction of ever receiving a reply, from you! She will lure you in and as soon as another dude catches her eye, she will put you, back on a shelf! She was unkind and rude to you, and you suffered as a result of her lack of consideration, toward you! Block her and delete her, and continue on with your happy life Brother! You deserve better than this girl! Blessings to You, OP!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 February 2020):
 Just DELETE and BLOCK and REMOVE.
There is NO reason to keep her in your life or on your social media. She might BE a different person now but WHY CARE?
It's not rude to decide, I don't really give a single F about someone back from college 10 years ago who didn't like me either.
It's not high school or college anymore.
Leave the past in the past, and her with it.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (16 February 2020):
 WHY don't you want to seem rude? SHE was quite rude to you all those years ago. You owe her NOTHING.
DELETE and BLOCK. She obviously wants to yank your chain for an ego boost. She's probably between relationships, or in a relationship which is going nowhere, and wonders if you are better than what she has.
You've come so far. Don't set yourself back. If in doubt, remember how she made you feel last time. You deserve so much better.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 February 2020):
 A frendship request on FB is not a royal summmons, you are perfectly free to accept it - or reject it , if you are not interested. I don't think it is considered "rude " by current netiquette standard.
But, even if she sshould see it as rude,... so what , frankly. You have moved on, you don't want to rekindle, you are not gonna see her ever again or talk to her ever again ;she is out of your life for good ( if so you wish ). I suppose you can still live happily ,even with the knowledge that somewhere perhaps there's a random woman who may think you have been rude !
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (16 February 2020):
 Nowhere is it written that facebook friend requests have to be accepted. It is quite okay and within the limits of "not seeming rude" to remove and block her, especially in light of the fact you say she is very bad for you.
Go on, you can do it, you know you can as you have already done it once before.
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