A
male
age
41-50,
*pan10
writes:I'm in a relationship with a woman 18 years older than me. Lately we have been growing apart, the age difference and different interests are the main reasons. Her daughter, is 4 years younger then me. I'm 35. Her daughter and I have a great relationship, always have, we've been friends for 20 years. This has my gf jealous, she tells me since we make each other laugh all the time that we should just be in a relationship. She tells me not her daughter. I am wondering if she is serious because she has me thinking, maybe shes right. She accuses us of being in love all of the time. The daughter and I do get along great, we do make each other laugh and we do many things in common. I am wondering how I discuss this with the daughter? What do I say to the mother? Right now I just tell her that her daughter and I are real good friends. But she may be right, I may be falling in love with her. I still love my gf, just not like I have previously. I am looking for some direction here, I don't want the mother daughter relationship wrecked, they do hang out all of the time, they act more like sisters then mother daughter. Want everyone to be happy and eliminate the awkwardness.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 December 2016):
 End the relationship and stay away from her daughter. She is looking for you to reassure her that you love her, not wanting you to date her daughter. Please end it and remove yourself from both their lives. Don't come between a mother and daughter, it would be one of the lowest things you could do. I am sure you are better than that.
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (4 December 2016):
 Its understandable if you have fallen out of love with the mother then yes, you should end the relationship...but to consider dating the daughter? Uh No..and thats a BIG No! Sorry it weird, has a creepy vibe to it and it would be just frowned on by many people. Sure, some people would actually do it but I never would. Its very likely that it would cause a rift between the mom and daughter that might never be repaired. Have you considered that? I wouldn't want to be the cause of breaking up a family. There are millions of ladies in the world..surely you can find someone else???
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2016): You are bad news and should have a warning sign flashing over your head.This poor woman who you have been dating!You now want to date her daughter and you think you are entitled to!Stop this deadend plan and get the hell out of their family.You have no right to be near either of them.You are a user just there for the joyride.You are so disrespectful that you have no boundaries.Imagine you shag the daughter and she gets pregnant.In 15 years time you would want to shag the child because you think you are sexy or entitled.Leave this family alone. You have done enough damage already! What a creep you are bringing sorrow upon sorrow to people who could manage fine without you there.Treat like a fire: get out and stay out forever and never return to mess up their lives any further.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2016): You need to end the relationship with the mother. Can you not then find a girlfriend that is not related to her? I mean come on its a big world out there! You would wreck their relationship and you know it. It's kinda creepy that you're even considering it. So you're friends with the daughter. Show some respect and leave it at that.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (4 December 2016):
 Why would a woman who is jealous of the attention and affection you show another want you to dump her so you can pursue that other right in front of her? Use your head. She wants you to reassure her that SHE is the only one you want.
Don't EVER pursue the daughter, or anyone else in your girlfriend's family, regardless of how it ends with her. It would be extremely selfish and very low class. The mother/daughter relationship WILL be damaged if you do, there is no way around that.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (3 December 2016):
 Why did you date your friend's mother in the first place? Seems like bad idea.
You can't date the daughter now - it's too messy and kind of disrespectful.
Break up with the mother and maybe consider the friend in a year or so, if you're still single.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (3 December 2016):
 Break up with Mom if you're not feeling it. DO NOT pursue a relationship with the daughter right now, or maybe ever. Maybe you're stuck ina grass is greener mode. I can't imagine the pain you will cause this family if you do what you suggest, the damage could be permanent, not to mention it being a little gross. Give yourself at least one year. If you can't stop thinking about the daughter, then come back on here and we'll regroup on a plan!
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