A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi GuysAny views on any section will be greatly appreciated as there is so little help out there for being on the receiving end of a bi friends love when you are not them:* A's best friend is a guy and basically A and B are made for eachother* B is bi - he has had bf's and gf's and had sex with both. A has seen him with both guys and girls and she doesnt have a problem with this at all* B has not come out as gay but A has seen him listed on a gay personals site as gay not bi - is this because bi is not always as accepted by the gay community or is he hiding his true sexuality from everyone?* B is 'in love' with A and wants to be with A (this has been announced many times over the many years A and B have been friends but due to other relationships etc A has always brushed B off and they have stayed friends with him 'suffering in silence' as A finds new bfs and any one new he meets is always second best apparently)* This is the first time I A has realised just how much she loves him and now wants to be with him romantically too* A is worried that B is actually gay and because they are so close he thinks can keep a cap on it for her - this he fervently denies and has actually gotten quite cross over* B has said he would want noone or nothing ( ie a penis) else if he could have A. She is that special to him* B wants to marry A and have kids together blah blah blah. He has even told A's family this* B does have bad luck with women (probably as whenever they go out it is like they are together) - is this pushing him towards the male side of his sexuality so at least he can get 'some'* A is scared of being hurt and rejected but also on losing out on what could be the best relationship everAny advice on what she should do from here? Do they go for it? Or is he in denial about his own sexuality due to a less open minded family? For the whole situation, A's head is saying no but her heart is saying yes!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much to everyone for their advice!
I checked out your vids frank and agree with you all that there is some element of risk that it may not work out and that he may miss some man-love...but...
Monday night we kissed and I melted. It was so out of the blue yet felt so right. I am now more than willing to give it a go - with said mind-bending if needs be - and we will see what happens. It may actually open up a whole new world of experiences and if not - I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason and teaches us lessons for the future. We only live once and I know I will regret not seeing what could be for the rest of my life should I not.
Thankyou again so much for your advice - I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and you guys have definately been instrumental in this!
With love, 'A' xx
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (6 August 2007):
 Hi A,
You asked: Frank - when u say he will not give up 'penis' for good - do you think this means he will miss it and want it therefore not be happy with me which reinforces my concerns ... Or do you mean he will just still fancy guys. I think any relationship doesnt stop you admiring other good looking specimens (lol) but if you love your partner you wont go there.
What I beleive is that if he is indeed bisexual, I think that he will be with you, and may be faithful to you in the sense that he will not be with other women, HOWEVER, since you do not have a penis, and if his urges are strong enough to engage with a penis, then he will not be faithful to you in the long term by wanting to be with other men.
I did an interview with a bisexual woman and it is up on youtube.com. She talks about bisexuality about being emotionally attracted to one gender, and just physically attracted to another gender. We also talk about fidelity too. Do a search for "frank b kermit" on youtube, and then "bisexual". I hope it helps.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, Cyg79  +, writes (5 August 2007):
 Wow, to many A's and B's. But maybe this will help. I think this kind of confusion is poison. There would always be the questions and in the questions lies the poison of the love. You or A, must decided what you(they) want out of a relationship and if this is it then it is what it is no questions asked. However, if your(or A is) questioning something there is a reason and I'm a believer that you (or A) listen to this reason. Its your (A's) life and you (they) must decided what you(they) want out of it.You live your life only once.
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (4 August 2007):
Good Morning A From the Philippines,And this lost American hopes you have a wonderful day. And an even better future to come. There are two kinds of "LOVE" The male kind of love And the Female kind of love. The male love is centered in his genitals,whereas the female love is centered in both a woman's heart and in her mind. And That A,you,can love B and that B,he,can also enjoy others of his same gender. I don't see that B will ever be able to give you Love,"A Woman's Kind Of Love". And his ongoing relationship will just be a genital fixation of Self-Pleasure on his part,regardless if he's enjoying your passionflower,vagina, or another man's penis. The perfect relationship for the two of you would be for the two of you to both enjoy Bisexuality within your relationship. you see, Another woman can,at the sametime,give you the love that you'll be missing, and that he won't be able to give you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLeonard - thanks for your further advice! You are very right about the inner beauty of someone - I am told I am a "little hottie" but struggle to see it myself hence why I worry so much about how I appear to guys esp as I feel I perhaps am lacking abit of attraction here coz no boy-bits but I guess your answer sums it all up really - it IS all about the person you love isnt it... So whether I had a penis, a lady-garden or some other unusual kind of downstairs apparatus - he would still love me and want to be with me (well perhaps within reason of the unusual apparatus - haha) It is the person he finds attractive, not what sex I am. Do you think?? 'A' x
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas +, writes (4 August 2007):
Hi! If you two want to remain in your relationship. you both will have to do some Mind-Bending when it comes to your sexuality. By Mind-Bending I mean that you'll have to accept your own sexuality for what it really is, and his ditto, for what it is. Yet no amount of Mind-Bending on his part will change his desire to enjoy both gender. And if you are going into the relationship with this in mind, big mistake. When it comes to how we see ourselves physically. I'll go for the inner beauty of one's heart, not their outer physical appearance. I once had a gf that was as ugly as a mud wall, but her inner beauty made Venus look like an old hag. Yet for you sake, and his, you both need is engage in protective sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your answers guys!
Yes, you got me...A is me! So, I am more than happy to accept he is bisexual - but I guess for some reason I am worried that this means he will want to stray more... and I dont know why I am thinking that as there is the same amount of risk of that as a straight guy. Maybe this is just where I am insecure about my looks and body etc anyways and now I am finding another area for further self-doubt.
Frank - when u say he will not give up 'penis' for good - do you think this means he will miss it and want it therefore not be happy with me which reinforces my concerns ... Or do you mean he will just still fancy guys. I think any relationship doesnt stop you admiring other good looking specimens (lol) but if you love your partner you wont go there.
Any further views would be greatly welcomed! 'A' x
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (4 August 2007):
Are you the "A" in this situation? If so, date "B" as it is worth the risk, but do not think for one second B will give up penis long term. It is not who he is to give it up no matter what he claims to promise.
If you are not the "a" in the situation, then stay out of it, or you will get blamed no matter what happens. It is not your business.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas +, writes (3 August 2007):
I for one do not see the sexual classification of Hetrosexuality and homosexuality as being valid. And the only valid classification that I see is "Bi-sexuality'. And both gender comes under that same sexual-classification. who and what we become in our sexual-preferences, stems from our early Pheromonal-Sexual-Development at our mother's breasts. And that sexual-development is unchangeable. So if a bi-sexual marrys anyone, he or she will still enjoy both sexes. Will A and B live happily ever after? Yes, Only if A accepts B'ssexual prefference for both gender.
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