| A
female
age
41-50,
*use
writes: I am not sure if my husband respects me. My family loves him and I don't want people to know this. He treats me like I am dumb. I never realized it before but I have fed into. I find myself saying things like don't ask me like I would know. My mother-in-law also treats me like I am stupid. How do I stop this? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fuse +, writes (20 December 2006):
fuse is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOf course I carry myself like a mature woman should with some sense. I was taught growing up people treat you the way you treat myself. I don't want to tell them they are offending me because I know the way they will respond. As if I am hallucinating and become very condescending.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006):
Are you doing dumb stuff? If so, stop.
If your only topic of conversation is about shopping, that oesnt reflect so well on you. Broaden your perspective.
...............................
A
female
reader, Nella +, writes (18 December 2006):
It's interesting how you have got into this pattern of behaviour - my guess is you are acting as if you are dumb around them as your confidence has been gradually eroded over time by their comments and the way they act towards you. So they now treat you according to your pattern and vice versa, and so the cycle continues. So the best thing to do is change your behaviour, put a spoke in the wheel - which may take time and practice if it's been a long time habit - and start to believe in yourself and be more assertive - show that you know! Assertiveness courses or a womens group may help if you find you are struggling alone. Also, you may want to tell them it isn't OK, their behaviour makes you feel small and belittled and that you are entitled to an opinion and feelings of your own and the right to express them, even if you don't have the absolute knowledge on a subject. Everyone deserves respect, whether a rocket scientist or not. Go easy on yourself too.
...............................
A
female
reader, vina_101  +, writes (18 December 2006):
 Have a talk with them and explain to them how this is making you feel. I'm sure they care about you and wouldn't dream of making you feel dumb so if you talk to them about it then they ought to stop. Don't let them get away with treating you like this. If something is bothering you you should always speak up and don't suffer in silence. Also it's good if you aren't the one who's giving them the wrong idea. Because remember that it's the way you carry yourself that is the way you're perceived. So it might be worth changing your behaviour when you're around them.
...............................
|
