A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Like it says on the Title; there's nothing I have that she wants.I really have NO idea what to do. I offer to take her to the movies, she likes the idea but she's not psyched about it, I offer to take her to dinner at a restaurant, she likes it but she's not psyched about it, I offer to pick her up at work when her shift is over, she likes the idea but she's not psyched about the idea.The list goes on, and on, and on. You know how little things can really make the difference for a girl to choose from one man or the other, right? Well it's just as if she wasn't able to see those little details. It's asnif it were just normal things anyone would do. Well it's not! I don't take just anyone to the movies, I don't just take anyone to dinner at a restaurant, I don't just pick anyone up at their work when their shift is over. The really infuriating thing is that whenever it's my turn to ask for a favor, she always puts this face, that seems just as if she were saying "what have you ever done for me" in her mind.What can I do? I want this to change, and soon.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Maybe it's gonna sound as if I am some emotionless, spolled b---h, but I don't quite get your problem. Why do you expect her to be psyched out.
For some people , it's just their personality. I appreciate things, but I never squeal with delight, or shake with excitement, or make a big fuss. It's just the way I am, if I had to show my appreciation more noisily I would be forcing myself.
Then, you say you are her boyfriend. You take her to the movies, you take her to dinner, you pick her up from work...well, these are the things that a boyfriend does.
It's sort of normal, I'd say. Don't get me wrong, when my boyfriends did that for me, I liked it, I was grateful, I appreciated , I said "thanks ", but...psyched out ? One is psyched out about something totally unexpected or exceptional or overwhelming ,isn't it ?
Unless you meant that she seems to be bored with her life in general, and she is never excited about anything at all in general. But that would be another kind of problem,due to issues of hers, and not really having something to do with you as a partner.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Something else, anything but the things you have already done. If this is your girlfriend however she needs to start getting active in figuring out activities as well. She doesn't seem interested at all, which will make the relationship boring and leave you with all the work, which is no fun for you.
How about you go sightseeing one day, for some nearby things worth looking at, take a trip to a gallery with a new exhibition, go to a show together, take a hike together up a mountain or whatever is nice nearby. Plan a vacation together, go somewhere nearby you always wanted to check out, have one day a week a special-meal day where you cook something new together, theres tons of recipes online. Try going for a vegan dish one day for example, or try different countries food. Play board games as a drinking game, or invite friends over to play with you.
Join a type of sport together, for example self defense, tae kwon-do, judo etc. where you are in close contact.
Do things for her even if she's not super eager about it, because she might come around. But do have a talk with her about this, it sounds like she's fallen into a rut and that can be the end of a relationship. You need to spice things up and communicate. It is not your job alone to make things go around and happen, you are not there to entertain her. You are supposed to have good times together, and that requires her being positive and active!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBy the way, Chigirl, what are some "fashion" activities we could do? Thanks.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGirlfriend, been 'bout a year and a half with her.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (19 November 2010):
Who is she? Is this your girlfriend or someone you want to date? If you only want to date this person I really think it's time to let her go, because she doesn't seem interested in you! If she actually was interested in you she'd probably be ok with these ideas of yours, or at least suggest something on her own that she thinks will be nice. All your ideas are, not to be rude, old fashioned and boring. I know you said you don't do this for just about anyone, but the fact is you'd do this for just about ANY DATE you're on, and so do men all over the world. And she's probably gotten bored and tired with it.
If this is your girlfriend you really need to talk to her about what you can do together as a couple that she will enjoy as well, and that she doesn't leave it all up to you to decide what to do. Then when she comes with a suggestion don't shoot it down, but go with it.
Be careful about putting words in someones mouth! Even if you think she has a look on her face that says this or that, listen to what she actually tells you, not what you THINK she tells you.
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A
female
reader, Outspoken1016  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 I guess I’m confused is she your girlfriend or just friend?
And you keep saying YOU do all these things for her and she is never unappreciative.
However have you ever asked her what SHE would like to do?
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