A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for two months. That's not a long time at all, but we got along really well and everything was going great. It was like puppy love. He tells me he loves me and he wants to marry me, and I know he can't actually mean it cause it's only been like two months, but saying nice things to each other like that is always fun.He kissed his ex girlfriend before we were officially together and I said it was okay because we didn't know each other that well, and we weren't actually going out. Then he did it again. I forgave him this time too because I kissed someone else the same day. Mind you, we were not exclusive, apparently, at that time.The other day I went to a school dance and I was flirting with a guy that he doesn't like me talking to. It got him really mad, we were fighting for hours and I was just apologizing. The next day we had sex for the first time. I'm not a virgin, but he was. That following Monday, I looked at his phone and he was texting his ex-girlfriend, the one he had kissed twice those times before. It was a big nasty fight, but I thought we were over it, and past it, although I don't forget it. He had told me in the past that whenever he gets mad at his girlfriend he automatically goes and flirts with other girls to make himself feel better.I think thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and I'm trying to get him to see that that doesn't fix anything. We've been good for like three weeks.I don't completely trust him after the texting bit though.This Tuesday, I didn't come to school. The last time I didn't come to school he broke up with me and then we talked it out and we didn't break up after all. This time he started acting really strange but after a long conversation that was fine.Mind you, I'm PMSing and I might be moody.We didn't talk for a day. It was hell. We went to target to buy the new Kid Cudi CD and all of a sudden everything was fine again. He loved me again. He confessed he was mad at me because he lost his virginity to me and I lost my virginity in 10th grade. I've done more drugs than he has. He's jealous and possessive, and today he hardly talked to me at all, and then gave me a sad peck goodbye. I don't know what's going on, but I'm really tired of trying to get him to show his feelings, because he's really bad at it. Should I text him, should I call him? I won't give up.
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broke up, drugs, ex girlfriend, flirt, his ex, jealous, lost my virginity, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, muffy +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Unfortunately sugar,I don't think he'll change.If he has to flirt with other girls when you guys fight to make himself feel better,then he's,not to be mean,pathetic.He must not have a good self-steem level.You don't deserve what he's giving you hun.I know it's hard to let go of someone you love,I've had to do it plenty of times,but it'll be for the best.Then you can move on and find someone else that'll treat you better.You'll be much happier.I hope everything works out.If you need anything just let me know.
Love and kisses,
Muffy33
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 November 2010):
The problem in not giving up, is that you're not seeing that this is an ineffective relationship that won't work out. It was doomed from the start when you both kissed other people, and he said it was 'okay' at a time when you were supposed to be dating. Then he got jealous and possessive when you flirted with another guy. Then you spent all evening apologizing. Then you had sex the next day. Then you found he was texting his ex and so on, and so on.
This isn't like giving up on a good relationship. This isn't a good relationship. This is two people who are not suited to each other at all. He's jealous, possessive and even broke up with you when you didn't come to school. You are way too forgiving. (and the drugs thing isn't good either - unless you want to wind up dead or something).
Seriously, there is a time to say 'enough'. And this is the time. He won't suddenly change into some nice guy who isn't jealous. This is who he is. And this will be your relationship.
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