A
female
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anonymous
writes:Ok, where do i start?! Baically i(18) was seeing this guy(25) for about 9 weeks. At first it was soo great! We wernt together but kinda where if u know what i mean...like we didnt say we were bf and gf but we never went off with other people. After knowing eachother only about 4 weeks we went abroad together just me and him for the weekend and got on really well! he said i was different cause i dont moan or 'go off on 1' over silly things and its really relaxed. every weekend he would take me for dinner, cinema and during the week would go to his and watch a film. it was like he couldnt see me enough and really liked me! about 3weeks ago he told me that he did like me and to see how thigs so we coudld make it an offical bf, gf relationship. THEN he moved into his new house near me and EVERYTHING went wrong! he never wanted 2 c me so i asked him why the change and he just siad its cause hes busy with the house and that when hes settled everything will go back to normal. but they didnt! he never called me during the day and i was lucky to get a text from him. so i asked him if there was some1 else but he said no....i still wasnt sure. so 1 day when i went over and stayed (very rare!) i looked through his phone (i know i shouldnt have!) but there was nothing on it at all just texts from me and his male friends so i knew it wasnt any other girl. last sunday he asked me to go over his house at 7 and to let myself in cause he would b half hour cause he was gettin us a take out and a film to watch...so i thought ok so hes making the effort now. BUT an hour went by and no show...i tried ringing but no answer. i stupidly waited an hour and a half but still he hadnt come back and not answerd his fone! i went home forgetting my parents were out and i had no key so i went back to his and went to bed! he came back at 11:30 drunk out of his head and i didnt even get a sorry then i found out he was coked up aswell! i said to him that that was that but he said to 4 give him and all will be good. the next day he went to work at 5 and i stayed in bed...then got a text sayin - sorry emma think its best we leave it...so i just said -ok. then that night before i went to work he came over unexpectadly sayin 2 4get what hed text he didnt mean it. me bein me said ok. after that didnt hear from him for 3days and he was bein a dick head again! so i said u either start treating me with respect and how u used to or we just leave it...and he said to just be friends!! so i said - whatever, take care. that was on friday moring and neither of us have got in contact...i know im not going to cause theres no way hes walking all over me anymore! i just dint understand where it all went wrong?!?!?! im just quite upset about it aswell cause i know how nice he can be its like hes a completely differnt person! does any1 know where all this went wrong?!?! sorry its soo long but needed to get it all out!! xxxxxxx
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (5 December 2006):
 I personally think hes not sure on what he wants. It seems to me that because he always gets what he wants from you (always there when he calls, sexually, etc), hes getting bored and taking advantage of you. You made life a little bit too comfortable for his liking my dear.
Its great that you have that attitude in you right now, just make sure you keep at it. When he calls the next time (I guarantee you he will!!), just play it cool, dont seem hard up, and tell him that its over in a calm, assertive tone of voice. That will just about drill it in his head that you mean business this time. Because you've been giving him ultimatums over and over again, he's starting to think he can call it off one day and apologising the next when he feels like it. You need to make this your last ultimatum.
If you really dig this guy and want him back and changed, it should be more of a reason you shouldnt take this any further, at least for now!! Give him some time to miss you, to realise what hes been missing. Dont contact him. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2006): Wasn't this posted just a few days ago.
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A
female
reader, accused  +, writes (5 December 2006):
 Emma Good for you on standing up for yourself and saying "There's no way hes walking all over me anymore! Your SELF RESPECT is solely YOURS! and the only way that a person can take that RESPECT from you is if you GIVE IT to them! Personally I am not for sure whats up with this guy, but after reading your post I think you've given MORE THAN ENOUGH warnings.. LEAVE IT ALONE! If this man does not care enough about you to call/text you at least (1) time a day to let you know he is alive, leaves you sitting at his house with no call/no show (after inviting) you over, and the mixed messages of leave or be together and then come back that same day to say I didn't mean it.... He's not worth your time or trouble! Then coke and alcohol ARE NOT BENEFITS to any relationship... Something I've found to be tried and try and from personal experience "NEVER START NOTHING WITH A MAN THAT YOU DON'T INTEND ON ALWAYS DOING".. and if you accept this from him then why would he not run all over you? You may or may not ever know why the sudden change in his actions, but your REACTIONS are what counts in this game! SO stick to what you say and don't back off or bargain with him, remember your SELF RESPECT is what your gambling! and that my friend is PRICELESS....... GOOD LUCK!
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