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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: I feel so alone with my problems. I feel there is no one else on the world who is going thru the same tragedy as me, or in the same way.I have tried to get help before from counselors and support groups, but i felt very misunderstood, and that they don't get it.Also in support groups , I never seen anybody with the same ''conditions'' and I'm just giving up.My problems are very complex and can't put them in public. But I can tell you it is a tragedy.I have two daughters into drugs, prostitution, and in and out from jail and mental hospitals.One is dead now.We never ever imagined to have such a hellish life.We don't drink, use drugs, or have any mental illness.And yet, they are mad on drugs, and now one of them is dead.But I had a hard time to find families, who had the same circumstances, with no mental illness, or substance abuse running in their families. when i hear their stories, I always felt they had a ''cause''.... like hardcore stuff. I understand why their kids are down on the road... They themselves knew it too. I have compassion for those, but i' m not one of them.... My kids had no abuse, and they had everything they needed.But nothing can bring them back to normal.I have no idea what to think. Where can you go when you need help, but there is none?I'm sorry, I'm really upset, I hope you can understand what am I trying to say.Help, if you can please.Thanks
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (6 April 2011):
 Some people simply have addictive nature. They weren't abused as a child. They weren't neglected. Sometimes it's the kids who have everything that end up this way because they find life boring. This is not really your fault, but if children are given everything growing up, how do you encore that as an adult? Boredom can be at the root of many addictive personalities because they don't find fulfillment in normal things; like hobbies, or careers etc., they have nothing to strive for, nothing to really work at obtaining. So they are always looking for an escape from their otherwise mundane lives. Usually drugs and alcohol are very attractive for them. You would benefit from going to a private counselor who will allow you to open up in private. It will be money well spent. I wish you the best.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): "My kids had no abuse, and they had everything they needed."Which guarantees nothing, unfortunately.My kids also have no abuse and everything that they need. They have two married parents who love them and who have stayed together and worked together. We don't drink, use drugs, and are dedicated to each other as parents and lovers and friends. We are open and direct with our kids and talk with them about all these issues. Both our families of origin have problems, which we don't want to see repeated in our family.BUT, we have alcoholism and drug abuse in our family, on both sides. If my kids pick up a needle, snort, drink, smoke, or pill pop, they are probably goners. Really, seriously.Nobody in my family can drink or use drugs of any addictive nature safely in any capacity. This is genetic, we don't know if our kids are susceptible, but the risk is just to high to take. Our only options are total abstinence.Also, don't be so sure that your girls weren't abused, raped, etc, etc. Almost always there is abuse of girls in this type of situation, and it is almost always far worse than the mother or father knows (they won't tell).
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A
male
reader, ClearEyes  +, writes (5 April 2011):
Personal Message me if you'd rather not answer. I'm young but can help. My first question to you is where do you live, kids are, sadly, more influenced by their friends than their parents in most circumstances. Demography plays a huge role in how kids turn out.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (5 April 2011):
 You'll never find someone with exactly the same situation, and you should stop looking because it's a futile search. You seem to think that others cannot help you if they haven't experienced this themselves, but the truth is, there are people who can help, if you let them.
I'm very sorry you lost one of your daughters, and are losing the other as you write here. It's every parents' worst nightmare to have their children die before them, and to have it be in this fashion must make it hundreds of times worse.
There comes a point in a person's life where they start making their own decisions. Sometimes those decisions are self destructive. We can try to help, but the only people who can change their lives are the people living them. They need to want that change in order for it to happen.
Depending on what drugs they are into, it could actually be part of the cause of their mental illness. Drugs like PCP can cause something nearly identical to schizophrenia in the brain. In fact, it's used to induce schizophrenia for lab tests with monkeys.
As for seeking help, not everyone will understand, but if you focus on the fact that you don't think it's possible for them to understand, your mind will be closed to the help they can offer. I think individual conseling is probably your best option, but you have to be open for it to work.
Again, I'm very sorry you lost a child, and I hope your other child wakes up from this behavior before it's too late. Best wishes to you.
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