A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm madly in love with this guy, but we can't marry because our parents wont accept the union, it's more his parents. He's not even allowed to have female friends, if they found out about me, they'd disown him. We've broken up lots of times but end up getting together somehow. This has been happening for the last 6 years. I tried moving on meeting other people, but can't forget him. He will never agree to eloping either and I totally understand, I would never want to take someone away from his parents or me be the cause for him to be disowned from his family. but I just don't know what to do with these feelings, how do I move on without looking back? My heart is breaking each day, thinking of him married to someone else that wouldn't even get to know hurts so much. Help me please, I'm breaking down and can't stop crying.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): I'm not even sure arranged marriages are even legal in Western Society anymore.
This man is not deserving of your feelings. If he cannot put his own happiness infront of that of his parents when it comes to love, then he doesn't deserve love.
Yes its great when the two overlap and the parents accept the decision.
But in the more arcane cultures that still practice the disgusting habit of forcing a marriage onto someone for their own gain... it is just sad to see in this century.
We do not live in 52 BC anymore. Arranged marriages have absolutely no place in the modern world and should be outlawed everywhere, at least in all Western Societies (I will not tell a country how govern their culture if it disagrees with mine).
You are not a slave and neither is he. You both have the freedom to love who ever you want. Work in whatever industry you want. And love however you want.
If he is so childish that he is not willing to be a man and tell his family to suck it, then he deserves to die in a horrible arranged marriage in which no love is present.
Flynn 24
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice Sizzle, you're right, I guess there is only so much control one can have of a situation.. he won't be living alone, his parents want him to get an arranged marriage. I guess he will marry someone his parents will accept.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): Thanks for the advice Sizzle, you're right, I guess there is only so much control one can have of a situation.. he won't be living alone, his parents want him to get an arranged marriage. I guess he will marry someone his parents will accept.
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A
male
reader, $izZle  +, writes (5 April 2011):
 Hi, I know what you mean :( I'm sorry to hear that eh! I have been in a similar situation.
you need to put it through to him that he can't live his life alone .... and ultimately he will have to think for himself...
besides I'm sure that he is well capable of taking care of himself ....
I know it can be very painful not be able to call him your man and being denied from his love :(( you need to take care of your self there is nothing much you can do about it coz its his decision and he has to wake up and start thinking for himself
my girl married a man coz he has money and can provide her with more luxury than I ... she has a baby now and she is always afraid of upsetting him :( and does everything like a puppet she used to tell me how she disliked getting into bed with him especially how painful intimate moments used to be well there is nothing much I could do about it either...
The best we can do is hope for the best and learn to live with it...
SO I suggest that you ask him if he is planning on living alone with his parents for eternity or if he is planning to take a decision...
I know you love him very much and he should be feeling lucky that you love him so deeply but if he is not willing to take a stand .... then I guess you should be asking yourself 1 question .... does he love you enough ... coz if he is listening to everything his parents are saying ... how do you think things will go after wedding they will still command him ...zZz
I wish you good luck and hope you have a happy ending ....
take care
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