A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need a little help deciphering what happened when I went out last night. So here is the quick run down...My friends and I went out to a local bar/club and I met this beautiful woman. Everything seemed to be going great. We danced a couple of songs, talked, laughed; flirted a little. I would grab her hand to take her to the dance floor, then she would grab my hand to take me back. We even went out to grab a bite to eat afterward. On the ride over there, I put my hand on her knee/lap, and while we were eating she got cold, and her friend said to hold her close so she would get warm; which I did and she didn't seem to mind. She put her head on my shoulder once or twice. her friend had tagged along with her, so at the end of the night she didn't want to leave her alone. I walked them to her car, her friend got in, and she got pretty nervous so I asked her what was wrong. She said she wanted to be honest with me and told me she had a "boyfriend". That he knew she was out, and he knew she would dance with friends she met, etc...but then she said, except you're different. I asked, "I'm different how?" And she said, "Just different." She said this smiling... Then she kind of proceeded to say that she just wouldn't like someone to do that to her, but that she really liked me and hoped I would text and/or call her. At this point, I told her that I was interested in her, but that I understood the situation she was in... However, I didn't feel comfortable texting/calling her since i didn't want to cause any problems with her or her "boyfriend". She seemed very adamant at this point that I could, and that it wouldn't cause any problems. So we kind of just left it at that. She gave me a hug, held it for a little while, and we parted ways.I thought that was the end of it, but she sent me a text about 5 minutes later when I got to my room. It said, "You can text me and call me, nothing will happen ok?!" So I responded, "Alright. It was mice meeting you. It wasn't my intention to make you feel nervous. It's just...honestly, I think you are beautiful, but I understand the situation. Hope to see you sometime, and you can call/text me anytime."She replied, "Thanks for the compliment. The pleasure was all mine, I also loved getting to know you. I think you are very nice. How about we go out next weekend? What do you think?"I replied, "Sounds great. But one of these days we have to try out some country music, and you still have to teach me how to lasso. lol. let me know when."She wrote, "Beautiful. Of course I will!!! As soon as I have a trip to El Paso again, I'll give you a call. Maybe we can go out to eat, or have a cup of coffee."And that was it. I didn't write back after that. So, I guess what I'm asking is...what is the deal with this girl? Should I be expecting a call or was she just being nice? And in all honesty, I wouldn't mind just going out with her or having a little fun on the side if that's all she wants, because she has a boyfriend. But how do I know?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): There is one of three things going on here.1) She is a disrespectful flirt who doesn't care for her boyfriend's feelings, and is a cheater as well. Or he's a cheater and she's using you as "jealousy bait." (Both are bad.)2) Her and her boyfriend have some sort of open relationship agreement.3) Her and her boyfriend are not getting along and she's thinking of dumping him. Situation one and two are both bad. Either way you are the third wheel and in situation 1 is a lot of drama, anger, possible angry boyfriend coming to your door. Situation two could mean you're not the only extra guy in her bed, plus the boyfriend, plus any women he also sleeps with.... big danger for STDs and complications and drama. In situation 3 you just need to wait and see. But I would be careful unless she is honest with you and tells you they are breaking up.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): Thanks. Well, i didn't text her. I figured I would leave all alone since she had a boyfriend. But the next night after we went out she sent me a text. So we started texting back and forth, and before we knew it, I had called her and we had an hour and a half long conversation. I'm getting the vibe that she wanted to be open and honest that she had a boyfriend, but she basically said she was into me. She gave me a nickname in spanish that she said basically meant, cute, sexy guy. She mentioned several times about going out again, and I asked if it was just as friends. She said yes, but that I was one of her special friends. So I took that as her saying I could be a friend with benefits? I would appreciate any replies confirming/denying if I am on the right track...
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (29 August 2011):
 Time will tell.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (29 August 2011):
 If she has a boyfriend you should expect nothing because she's not available. You shouldn't persue her until she's single.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (29 August 2011):
She may have an open relationship with her bf. This sound like sex dates in the making.
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