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The sex is great but he's married

Tagged as: Age differences, Forbidden love, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 October 2007) 16 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been seeing this guy that is 26 years older then me, he is married and has 3 kids 17,16,13. He does not like his wife and they dont sleep together or even speak. We have the BEST sex ever. I am so in love with him what should i do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007):

Don't be the other girl. If he wants to be with you he will leave her. If he doesn't leave her you know your answer. Oh, and even if you do end up with him he will most likely cheat on you too. Does this really sound like an honorable man? I don't think so, and neither do you at the moment. Get real and don't knowingly be the other girl. I'm disgusted.

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A male reader, Joseph W. South Cayman Islands +, writes (28 October 2007):

Joseph W. South agony auntYou need to realize that he is MARRIED. You have two choices here: 1. Enjoy the sex for what it is, and STOP expecting him to be something he is not, ie SINGLE; or 2. DUMP HIM.

I am going to recommend #2 for you because it is obvious you

have unrealistic expectations for this relationship. Why do people expect other people to change for them? That's just nuts. This is a married man who is sleeping with you. Realize that he will do the same to you if given the chance.

If you can grow up and get control of your emotions, and don't try to mess up his home life, he will no doubt keep sleeping with you. However, not too many women can handle that scenario.

The Joseph W. South Show

http://joseph.libsyn.com

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007):

you should ask him what he wants to do! if he doesnt feel for his wife, he needs to divorce her and be with u, if not,,, your gonna be going down the same road for a long time.

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A male reader, Richard_EMids United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2007):

Richard_EMids agony auntHi. You ask what should you do? Well - you don't have to do anything - you can carry on enjoying the sex. And carry on loving him if you are happy with the situation as it is. You don't say what you want - or what is causing you to ask this question. If you are expecting him to leave his wife and kids for you - then you have to be realistic - because whilst not impossible - it is unlikely. He is the one who should be asking himself - what should I do? Take care.

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A male reader, Karlos Omnis United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2007):

Karlos Omnis agony auntYou should get yourself some self respect, end the a relationship with no future and get someone your own age.

I can guarantee all he sees in you is sex, and there's no need to line yourself up for a fall.

Get out now while its easier.

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A female reader, agony jess United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2007):

well if he didnt really like his wife why are they still living together and why are they still married you have too think about it what wold you do if your dad was seeing another women behind your moms bak and its not all about sex sstop before you ruin theese peoples lifes

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2007):

DrPsych agony auntThe guy is having a mid-life crisis and using you for sex and to massage his ego that he can get with young girls. Frankly he sounds a little bit sad...he has kids your age! He is sleeping with his wife and they probably have a nice, if a little bit tired, marital relationship. If he was going to leave her then he would have already walked out...he just says he will to keep you tagging along. Even if he left her, whats to say he isnt going to cheat on you with someone else?

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A female reader, Lesley4846 United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2007):

my ex husband done the dirty on me three times and they always say that they dont get on with their wives if he didnt love her he wouldnt be there personally i think hes using you get out and meet someone else i bet he is also saying he cant leave because of the childred rubbish dont fall for it

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007):

This bloke is a pig! And you are no better, sorry, but that is how i see it! He is having his cake and eating it! He is bound to tell you that he hates his wife, if he is getting sex off you he will say anything, wake up and smell the coffee, you are his bit on the side. Walk away and have some bloody dignity!

take care

xx

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A male reader, agonyunclechris United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2007):

agonyunclechris agony auntheya hun x

he says he doesnt love his wife ?

what if he decides he does , if he doesnt why did he marry her ?

Is he saying this because he wants just the sex?

in other words is he using you for sex ?

also put yourself in the wife and childrens shoes , what would you feel like if this was hapening to you ?

i deffinately think this relationship is not bonded by love hun x

you should walk away from the relationship before you get hurt emotionally

love + light

chris x

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (25 October 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntI'll tell what you can do, buy this bridge from me, it's really cheap and in a nice location...Brooklyn. Interested?

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2007):

kenny agony auntWhen he says he does not like his wife and that thay don't speak is probably just a yarn he is spinning you to keep you sweet. He knows he is having his cake and eat it, he is sleeping with you when he can sucessfully sneak away, then crawls back to the marrital bed when he is finished. Invariably married guys never leave their wives, so ultimately you end up becoming the mistess, or bit on the side. He is a lyer and a cheat and you deserve better, i would ditch him and move on, and find someone who is younger, and does not come with a wife and kids.

Good luck x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007):

This guy is so using and lying to you. All he wants is sex with a young girl. This line about not liking his wife and them not having sex is "standard line" bullshit. I know. It happened to me. The sex is great because, first of all, he's experienced and secondly it is "dangerous" for him to be with you. When he grows bored with you, and he will, he will disappear and when you get upset he'll say you're psycho. Dump this guy, please! Find someone your own age who's is not married and who cares about you.

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A female reader, jowin75 United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2007):

jowin75 agony auntthis guy is lying to his wife, what makes you think he is not lying to you,

this guy is not worth it, the best thing to do is break it off now,

find someone that will treat you with the love and respect you deserve

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007):

Would you still feel the same about him if he told you that he loves his wife dearly, that they have excellent communication and that they make love just about every night and most of the weekend whenever he's not with you?

He could tell you anything and you'd be none the wiser unless you followed him around 24 hours a day and observed his every move and utterance.

He's definitely old enough to be your father (and then some) - is it a father figure you're really looking for?

Phil

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007):

If he does not like his wife anymore, shouldn't he have divorced her by now?. Don't fall for it, he will NOT leave his wife.

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