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female
,
anonymous
writes: My ex called and left a message to tell me he was mailing me my stuff (we used to live together). Anyway, a few days ago I told him to stop calling me because he just kept it up. He agreed to leave me alone unless I contacted him. Well, I contacted him to remind him to mail me my mail. In the message he just left he acted like it must be really hard for me (because I'm not answering) and that it was hard for him too. He called me "baby" and told me to remember that he loves me. He needs to get over himself!I'm not going to bother to contact him, but why is he putting words in my mouth? It obviously isn't that hard for him to get over me since I've already seen pictures of him out with girls.
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male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (25 October 2007):
 Hi there - I could be guilty of reading between the lines, so if I have got it completely wrong ignore my answer and only give me one star.
It does seem like he is trying (sub-consciously) at one last attempt - and I do sense from you that deep down there is a wish as well. Maybe both of you have got to a stage where you are putting on a "front" to each other. Maybe there are some regrets each of you has that you just can't say to each other. If this is the case - don't let stupid pride get in the way of what should really be. Phone him up and ask him outright - do you want one final chance to discuss our future. If Yes from him - ask for 110% from him and you do the same. If No from him - make arrangements to cut all links with him, stop contacting him, ignore his calls, redirect your post, emails etc and move on. Good luck and take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Change your phone number and stay out of his way. He obviously cannot get you out of his head and want to let you know that he is having a great time, when actually he isnt. Walk away from him, change number and forget all about him.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (25 October 2007):
 Nope these are signs that it is extremely difficult for him to cope with this change. He calls you just because he want to hear your voice. Getting over himself is almost like telling him to go get drunk because then he'll feel better.
His actions are ones of pain, not of trying to bother you all though that's what's happening. If you want him to stop contacting you, give a single warning, then charge with harassment.
I hope this helps you. Take care.
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A
female
reader, desirewhitefire  +, writes (25 October 2007):
 I think it's called the 3 month rule. You stop all communication with someone for 3 months after the break up, and by that, it means no phone calls, no saying hi when you pass on the street, no contact whatsoever. It may be a little more difficult after three months for him to be over you, it may take longer because of your history with him. It took me a year to get over my ex, and we were together for a very long time. But once I got over him, we were able to be great friends.
He's feeling very insecure right now, hence him going out on dates with other women but still telling you he loves you. He goes out with the women to give him the ego boost he needs. He wants the security of your relationship back, not your love. If he was still in love with you, he wouldn't be dating anyone else. You're someone he has a history with, and it feels good for him to tell someone he loves them and hear them say it back. That's all it is. He's not dealing well with not being in a secure relationship. He'll get over it, just completely cut yourself off from him. And if you want your stuff back that bad, have a friend go over to his house and pick it up, not you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): you don't love him ,but he loves you,
that is the way i see it, i am having the same problem:S but to tell you the truth stop contacting him ,but always try to get out the news of how he is doing! and sooner or later he will forget you maybe it will take a lot of time but it will happen as soon as he find another girl
good luck to you both
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A
female
reader, mlb +, writes (25 October 2007):
you are doing the right thing. Just keep very neutral if you ever have to talk to him and don't respond to his garbage. He sounds like my 7 year old. Trying to get a rise out of you - he will stop if he gets a constant flat tone from you. Don't worry about what he thinks. It's how you feel and what you know that's important. You don't have to prove yourself to him, and you don't have to try to convince him that he's wrong!
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