A
female
age
30-35,
LoveJoy
writes:I have been with dear cupid for a while now, and, i have found that there are quite a few questions about pupil/teacher relationships, I have myself posted a couple. But it never ceases to amaze me. Has anyone got an opinion or story they could share with us, it would be nice to try and shed some light on the 'issue' and try and find out who is actually causing the problem of lots of young people 'falling in love' with teachers, the teachers or the pupils?.... Reply to this Article
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female
reader, xLovex +, writes (23 August 2008):
I am a student who thought they did "love" there teacher but I felt that love is a strong word even though I thought my feelings were strong. He helped me soo much... made me confident and reach my full potential. He made me relise I have talent in things I would never of thought of and he has so much faith in me. But then I thought do I love him or do I admire him. I relised I admire him and think of him as a briliant role model. My ideal role model is - mature, caring, smart, senstive, clever and patient and to me this teacher ticks all of thoose boxes. Teachers want there students to do well, does this really seem wrong or misleading when it is written like that? No. But when a student is living it, you cant control your feelings.I dont think it's eithers fault as the real problem is the misinterpretations of students being able to recognise and distinquish there feelings. So I think the real question should be do we realy "love" our teachers becuase we have never felt soo strongly and passiontatly before or do we just admire our teachers.
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (18 August 2008):
 Interesting answers here.
I myself think that often both are to blame with the body language of the teachers mis interpreted by the pupils.
But I love it when a relationship goes nicely, but the thing i really hate is when people say its wrong to fancy a teacher, in one way yes it is, but in reality they are the same as every other person in the world, they are only human right?
I don't think that a student fancying a teacher is immoral... but if you become delusional and imagine that the teacher is in love with you, it can be very painful. But, being delusional and "necia" (obtuse to the facts, that is) seem to go hand in hand when it comes to love. No wonder "love looks not with the eyes but with the mind" Williams Shakespeare was absolutely right... love IS blind.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (18 August 2008):
Hola,I'm a teacher and an aunt here... but, I doubt that any of my students are secretly in love with me. In fact, they think I'm a "bruja" (witch). I would love to have rapport with them but teacher-student relationships are a bad idea... and I won't allow them to cheat on their Spanish tests. There is another teacher at my school (nothing will induce me to say his name) and I honestly think I would fancy him were I his student. But, he's married (*sigh*) so I had to settle for being his friend. He's not an old guy, he's only 50 (I'm 29) but he's about old enough to be my father. I think that it's because I don't have my father (that's a long story) in my life and to have a rapport with him was comforting. I came from a broken home, and fell for a co-teacher who is over 20 years older than me... and many of these kids nowadays come from broken homes. Sadly, many of my students don't have any father figure and they want to be nurtured. I can tell you from experience how sad it is not to have a father (as the result of divorce, death, separation, etc). They may just wish to fill a void in their lives, whether they realize it or not. Or, maybe they have different sensitivities than their peers and the boys/girls their own age seem immature to them. I was young once and I was always getting called a "Spanish dork" by the other kids because I really wanted to LEARN Spanish. Some kids take it because they have to have an elective class and the school doesn't offer How to Make Out 101. If my Spanish teacher had been a hot South American Iguy would have fallen madly in love with him... but I'm sure it would have broken my heart. I wish I had become a country singer instead of a teacher because there is a country song in all of this... I just know it.
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A
female
reader, JustPlainAmanda +, writes (2 August 2008):
 well at the end of the day it isnt anyones fault when you fall in love, its just nature. the problem lies when a student thinks a teacheer loves them the way they love them but the problem is this maybe true. teachers know there boundaries with students and if they get to close you will notice the teacher will bak away and not be as close as they were to the student before. this can cause alot of depression to a student but eventually they will get over it and maybe oneday will end up with that teacher but not before it is legal for them to do so. if the teacher wants to risk losing there job it is up to them but they have to think about the way it is going to effect the student aswell
...x
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A
female
reader, Skweek  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 Well at my school there was a sex scandal between one of my favorite teachers and some kid and she had just gotten her divorced finalized the day they did it. At an away football game and she had her two kids in the room along with a babysitter. I haven't seen her for almost two years, but I know she will never be teaching again
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A
female
reader, LoveJoy +, writes (1 August 2008):
LoveJoy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Interesting answers here.
I myself think that often both are to blame with the body language of the teachers mis interpreted by the pupils.
But I love it when a relationship goes nicely, but the thing i really hate is when people say its wrong to fancy a teacher, in one way yes it is, but in reality they are the same as every other person in the world, they are only human right?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): 99% of the time, it is students who imagine that their teacher is in love with them... as if? We do get a couple of rare cases where a teacher is in love with a pupil, but as I said this is very, very rare, compared to the thousands of girls and boys who post on this site, saying.. I love my teacher, now what should I do.....
Here's an example of how most teachers feel about the whole thing.... http://www.dearcupid.org/question/a-student-is-in-love-with-me-how.html
We have several uncles and aunts who have been teachers and they admit that it was common for students to fall in love with them all the time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): It's both. Mostly the pupils, but sometimes both.
I wrote this in reply to another thread, (http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-falling-for-your-teacher-is-never-good.html0 feel it's probably relevant.
"Although I understand how terrible your situation was, I would like put an alternative point of view to this.
I went to an all girls boarding school. In my eyes, this is a terrible thing for any parent to force upon a child, as although I know my parents sent me there because it was a very good school, whilst in such an establishment, one develops a fairly unbalanced view of life.
As my school was a good five hours drive from my home, I didn't go home often at all, and thus the only male contact I had was with the male teachers, of which there weren't many.
One of these teachers took my A level english lessons, and from the moment I first set eyes on him, I developed this immense crush on him. He was 34, and was really nice to me. I used to seee him a lot around the grounds outside of lessons and we'd often, having met by chance, walk around the grounds chatting about anything and everything - he was just lovely to me.
Anyway, as time went on we got closer, and one day whilst on one of thes walks (which we had started arranging to go on by now), he took me down into the bit of woodland at the edge of the grounds. Once we were truly out of sight, he turned to come face to face with me, and he kissed me. Of course, I kissed him back, and I will never forget the feel of that first kiss, with him running his hand through my hair.
Anyway, after this, we did indeed continue on to start having sex on a fairly regular basis. I was (and am today to some extent) totally in love with him - he was so nice to me.
However, unlike the OP's experience, our relationship did not go sour. I left 6th form three years ago now, and am in my penultimate year at university. I still meet up with him, and speak to him on the phone on a regular basis, and his support has helped me through a lot of things, most of all my mother dying.
I know pupil-teacher relationships are often bad, and are indeed not something which should take place in the first place, but I just wanted to put in a different point of view. Feel free to message me."
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A
female
reader, xxbaybeegal +, writes (1 August 2008):
 well me being a teen myself
i think its the pupils not the teachers
because in my school we fancy a lot of the teachers
but that doesnt mean that teachers dont fancy the pupils right?
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