A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. I’m 41 and just strarted looking to online dating 4 years after divorce. I started chatting with this incredibly smart and handsome guy. He is 47 and a neurosurgeon. Never been married and no kids. We both have the same religion and similar backgrounds but from two different countries. Here is the problem. He mentioned that he likes dominant woman and wife and likes to be a love slave and he is serious about it. He loves to have all the luxury to his wife and cooks and cleans and take orders! I’m naturally a leader and have a very strong personality but have no idea how it’s look like to be in a relationship with a submissive man. I don’t know if I should give it a chance or not. Can you please help me understand how it’s look like to date a guy like him? Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2018): Here is Op- edit: outside committed relationship!
I ended it. We talked again and he told me more about what he wants. He said he will be committed 100% and I can have affairs if I am not satisfied with my slave, him!
I could go on a date while he is home cleaning and cooking! Are you kidding me?
I had to punish him to be a better slave. He said kill me if I look at another woman. Lock him up in a basement while chained to a chair.
Serving me drinks while I’m flirting with other guys.
Excuse my language but I just wanted a man not a pimp! I feel sick to my stomach now.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2018): If he's discussing his sexual preferences with you when you haven't even met yet, I would guess that he is looking for someone to join him in his sexual escapades, not a romantic union.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2018): I’m the OP- Thanks for your inputs. Actually I’m highly educated too so I’m not impressed just by his accomplishments and I searched and confirmed his identity so that’s not an issue.
I am absolutely not into having any intimacy outside a commitment relationship. He never asked me or hinted towards anything sexual. His intention is to find someone for marriage. Obviously if he is offering to cook and clean and do all the chores and give all his money to his future wife/Goddess the rule will apply to the bedroom too. He had been engaded before and he said his fiancé loved him but changed her mind on being dominant and tried to change him. The last straw was her accepting to dance with a guy intentionally in front of him and when he didn’t react she got very upset. He said he was jealous but didn’t say anything because this was considered as his goddess pleasure.
So I think I wouldn’t know until I try, if I decide to go for it, but I was wondering if anyone has experienced this type of relationship.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (10 December 2018):
 First of all, don't be impressed that he says hes a doctor. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. Have you goggled him to see if you can find anything out? Even if it is..its not nearly as impressive as some women want to believe. How do I know? I'm married to a doctor. Most of them don't make nearly the money people think they do, they work long hours...you get the idea.
As far as him wanting a dominant woman?? Be VERY careful about this kind of type when you haven't even met. He might be some kind of freak with some strange fetishes. Its hard to tell from an email. If he's already telling you these kind of things I guarantee its very important to him and you may be getting in over your head.
USE EXTREME CAUTION! If that isn't your kind of thing or something you don't think you want to try, end the relationship RIGHT NOW. Never compromise yourself or your principles for ANYONE..I don't care who they are or what they status may be.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (10 December 2018):
 This sort of sexual relationship can involve anything from verbal domination to infliction of serious pain and injury. IF you are really interested in this guy, you have to realize this is a way of life for him. While the bit about letting you boss him about might seem a bit of a hoot, you need to discuss with him EXACTLY what he needs. Some men like to be whipped, stabbed, punctured, burned, scalded, choked . . . Things which most of us avoid at all costs, they find a turn on and a necessity for sexual gratification.
You need to find out a lot more about what his needs are before you can make an informed decision on whether you could make a relationship work. If this is not your "thing", you will grow to resent him, especially if he cannot gain sexual gratification in any other way.
Tread carefully. VERY. VERY. CAREFULLY.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2018): Okay, it all depends on what you're looking for. Are you seeking partnership in sex-play and role-playing antics?
Don't be impressed by the fact the guy is a neurosurgeon; and you won't really know if that's true, until you meet him. He's not looking for a relationship; he wants a fetish role-player and fantasy-partner. He'll either keep piling on new surprises of a very intense sexual-nature; and/or when he tires of your character, he'll move on. You have to be extremely open minded, creative, have a strong stomach, and not overly-impressed or enticed by his profession. Some women would jump at it in a skinny minute. Just because he's a doctor!
Seriously?!!
I met a guy years back after a long period of celibacy and no dating. He too, was a surgeon, and I know for sure he was; because he's a friend of an acquaintance of mine. He wanted to be tied-up, blind-folded, and have sterile needles poked in him.
This is what he asked me to do; after a fantastic dinner and the best date I'd had in a long time! He was well read, likes theater and opera. Gorgeous, silver haired! He said he'd like to show me his "play room!" Oh...hell no!!! This was long before "50 Shades of Gray" came out. Never saw the movie, or read the book; but I know what it's all about!
I did not oblige. I was driven 59 miles from home; and went out on this date at his request. It was strange and I was totally freaked; but pretended it didn't phase me. It shouldn't have, I'm far from naive; but his facade was so sophisticated and polished. Weird! His whole persona had changed in an instant! Like the devil entered the room!
If you're up to some role-playing with a total stranger; and open to whatever other exploits he might come-up with; more power to you, my dear!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 December 2018):
 No one can tell you how it would be to date this guy.
He is talking fantasy - HIS fantasy of a submissive housebound wife who can also be dominant sexually. He isn't looking to be the SUBMISSIVE one all the time, just with sex (if I read your post right).
There is a reason this guy is 47 single and never been married. Not because he is a "bad egg" but maybe perhaps because he has unrealistic expectations as to what a wife really is. She certainly isn't to be his equal or financially independent...
The only way you ca find out of he IS a good match is to see where it takes you, as long as you don't compromise on your own personal values.
And that you take this VERY VERY slow. Being sexually dominant doesn't come easy to MANY women, and in this day and age being a "domestic goddess" is rarely optimal either.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2018): Careful. There's a reason the guy is 47 and never married and has no kids. If you want to fuck him and have a good time, go for it. But keep detached. It is obvious this one is not one for a commitment. He gets off on aggressive women. It's an ego boost. He just wants to have a good time. Just keep things in perspective. He's played this role many times before. You're just the latest play thing he's hoping to rope in.
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