A
female
age
51-59,
*aresmatic
writes:I have been dating for the past 3 months a 48 yr old very successful male who lives an hour away from me. He has never been married and has no kids, like myself (39yrs). He only wants to get together on his terms; schedule, etc. When we are together and I go and see him, it is just for a few hours. He will not let me go to his place and he really has not been very affectionate. It seems that either he is way catious, shy, careful, moves slow....but it seems a bit unfair. I know he is single (We talk at night) so I know he is home and alone, I call his office, they know who I am so he does make it apparent that we are "Dating". Is he just taking his time? He says he likes sex, he is attracted to me, we have kissed, he does kiss me, hold hands, etc...but it has been very limited including the where and when. He again, won't let me hang out with him at his place.....what do u think?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 July 2007):
 I'm with AskEve.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2007): either this guy is insecure, not ready for the commitment or he has something to hide. You will be best of sitting down together and talking things through. tell him what you would like and ask him what he wants. you'll not over come this unless you talk. I think personlly that he wants to talk things slow and he's not ready for a full on relationship yet.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (3 July 2007):
 It sounds to me he's a really busy guy who is married to his job. He's never been married or had kids so he's not used to the dating game. Why don't you take the initiative and ask him to come to where you live for the WEEKEND or, if that's not suitable suggest that you stay over at his place for the weekend. Put the feelers out and see what he says. He may just never have thought of it, it may be he's never even had sex before and he's shy or he may think you wouldn't want to stay over, that it might seem too forward asking you that.
Worst case scenario would be that he in fact IS married and that's why he doesn't want you to stay over at his house and that's also why you only stay a few hours. He could have another line in his office at home and that's the reason he can talk to you freely. It's up to you to find out the reason. I think suggesting he come over to see you for a weekend or suggesting you stay with him for a weekend might shed more light on things.
Eve
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (3 July 2007):
 Talk to him about it. Has he been hurt badly in the past. Maybe he's scared of getting too heavy too quick. It's a good sign that people know who you are. Ask him why he won't let you go to his place and demand a response.
xxxxxx
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