A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need some help in dealing with a good friend of mine. She is 22 and is madly in love with a 39 year old man she met through a dating site. She was specifically interested in someone older than herself as she finds guys her own age not mature enough and doesn't have much in common with them. That I can understand and that is fine.The problem is she has only met this guy four times in two months. When they meet and when they speak he seems interested however he doesn't keep in touch very much and logs onto the dating site very often. My feeling is that he likes her, but not enough. A week ago she found out he was moving to another state. He couldn't manage to find time to see her before he went which I think says a lot.She said she would do anything to be with him and I believe her when she says this. It scares me as I am worried she would compromise herself in some way to be with this guy. She has asked my opinion and at first I was just supportive but then I was too worried and said I think he's interested but not enough. She admitted that I am right but is still crazy about him and is going to fly and stay with him during her next holidays and maybe even move to his new state. He did invite her to go and stay with him, but he's never mentioned he'd come back here to see her - which I also think says a lot.It sounds so crazy to me and I don't know what to do. My hunch is to just keep trying to put her off him but I am not sure if that is the right thing to do. She has been hurt very badly before and has already said if this didn't work out she'd have trouble trusting another man. I would appreciate any advice.Just in case people jump to the wrong conclusion I have no vested romantic interest as I am gay. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 July 2007):
 I agree with YummyMummy and with your opinions on the matter.
If you want to do something, don't go the usual way. Ask her what plans he has for her, whether they will have children, et cetera, so that eventually she gets to notice, herself, that in this case 17 years is a big difference and they are at very different, and I would say, incompatible, stages of life.
A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (3 July 2007):
 Unfortunately i don't think there is much you can do, if you try and influence her too much she might turn against you and look at it as interfering in her life.
She is a big girl now, so maybe you should let her lead her own life , make some mistakes and hopefully learn from them.
All you can do is be there for her if and when it goes pear shaped.
Take care.xx.
...............................
|
