A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Got issues with the most beautiful lady in this world. Where do I start? I was married for 20 years and had allotted of problem with my former wife for about 10 years. So I left .Any way, I Have known this lady whom I am now in love with for 28 years but she is married. But we started seeing each other 2.5 years ago (Having an affair). I spend a lot of time with her family which is very hard for me as we go away a lot... She tells me she is in love with me and we will be together. She has told me we would be together about 6 months ago. So I have been waiting and waiting. She also tells me she loves her Partner but not in love with him she has 2 kids a girl 11 and a son 14. We spend about 2 nights (evening) together for the past 2 years and always make love. But as soon as it is finished she has to go home. We have tried to break up but we cant we are so in love with each other but she is scarred to leave and losing her kids as her husband he has always said if she left he would have the kids, They do fight a lot and she hasn’t been happy for about 5 years, She want to leave but cant and I am still waiting .What to do, We do fight a lot about Our situation a fare bit..
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male
reader, Dreamland  +, writes (15 March 2011):
Read my post from yesterday.....I'm in a similar situation as yours, but I think that you're in it deeper emotionally.
Question: why do you want to ruin a good thing? You're getting all the free sex in the world, at least twice a week, so why do you want kill the passion by embarking on a ill-fated "real" relationship with this woman? It's never the same once that forbidden affair element of the relationship escalates to the next level so to speak. I'm in love with my lover as well; she looks gorgeous and has a classy vibe about her, but I know that if we made it official that it probably wouldn't be the same.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (13 March 2011):
Hi there. Your girlfriend might not be happy, but it seems she is unsure of whether to end her marriage. It is partly because of the kids, for sure.
The other part is although you both seem fairly happy together now, there is no guarantee that if she did leave her husband that it would work out well with you.
Now while it is an affair, it's a little surreal. A bit magical.
If she did decide to end her marriage to be with you, it would then become another marriage type relationship. The magic soon disappears because reality sets in very quickly.
Reality being - mortgage or rent, bills, dirty washing, ironing, dusting, cleaning, vacuuming, occasional arguments, really not much different from the life she is living now with her husband. In fact, it would be that way for both of you.
The sex would still be good, at least for a while - that is, until the newness of your relationship wears off. Newness usually lasts for 2-3 years at the most. You are nearing that time now.
Needless to say, your girlfriend is thinking about this herself and it's making her very wary.
To propose a hypothetical here, just supposing she does decide to leave her husband to be with you, then all of a sudden a couple of months down the track, it doesn't work out and she's lost everything! This also might be something that is keeping her from making possibly the biggest mistake of her life. It would be a massive change in her life. Plus she loses her children!
Unfortunately, relationships that start from affairs, very often have trust issues between both partners. Remembering back to how you both met in the first place.
Even if you decided to try and make it work, there would always be a nagging doubt as to whether she might later on start cheating on you - like she is doing with her husband now and for the last 2.5 years. It is understandable.
Trust is a really important thing in any relationship. This is something you both need to think about very seriously. You both need to be completely honest with yourselves and each other, before you decide your future together, and whether there is one.
It's a decision not to be taken lightly.
Take care and best wishes.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 March 2011):
 Leaving a marriage where there are kids involved is not easy. Beyond that, I surmise that her marriage does have some good areas; if it were all absolutely bad, then she would have left long ago. Or her husband would have.Meaning she gave in to her attraction for you but, as of today, that is not enough for her to make her leave. The question is whether it will ever be.So you can either wait and see, or leave. If you wait and see, you might end up without her. If she does divorce, that will not necessarily mean she will come your way. The odds are not in your favor.I think fighting takes you two nowhere. You either accept things as they are, or leave.
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