A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a real dilemma with a man I love. Some years ago we became very close friends, I had strong feelings for him but kept it to myself as I valued our friendship so much.This all came to a head after I moved in with him with my young daughter (I was homeless and had nowhere else), I became aware that he felt the same way and after weeks of him trying we took things further.Then the excuses started, he couldn't keep away, but refused to let anyone know or accept that we were having a relationship. Feeling very hurt and confused I left as I couldn't cope with the situation. We've had very little contact in the last few years as a result of this.This week things kicked off again when he came round for a catchup, we're both single and within hours we were just like before. This isn't just a sex thing, and we spend more time talking than anything else. He voiced the same doubts I had about what would happen next, and I thought we had sorted everything out. The problem is that he then says he has feelings for another girl. He met her online a couple of weeks ago and had met her once although nothing happened. I felt a bit uneasy about this but we talked and he seemed fairly resolute that it would go no further.He says he feels some responsibility for this girl though and would like to be there to support her as a friend which I'm not at all comfortable with as he is clearly emotionally involved in this. Then yesterday he got out of my bed in the morning and announced he was going to see her as he had planned it already and didn't want to let her down. I went out with some friends and tried to distract myself from thinking about it, but I felt like my brain was being put through a mincing machine all day. Anyway, by latish last night I decided that I couldn't deal with this and text to tell him so. I said that he's clearly got some attachment to this girl and that I can't deal with this in my head right now. That I feel that if he thinks he needs to make a decision between us that's his business, but that I can't help feeling that he can't care about me like I do about him if that's the case. He text back to say whenever I'm ready. Now I'm feeling that maybe I should have waited till I saw him and properly spoken about this again and I just don't know what to do.I'm bipolar and have not had an easy time of things. I'm finally in a place where I'm as settled and secure in myself as I can be but things like this really set me back. This man is like no one else I've ever been with and I feel so very safe with him. I'm now just very confused and am looking for any advice that might help me get my head round this situation as I don't think I can see it clearly myself.Sorry this is so long but I wanted to try and explain properly :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): i think that the right thing you should do that to tell him about your feeling and believe me if he love you he will do some thing i think that you desrve him because you know him not only 4 couple weeks and without forgetting to say that life is very short try to enjoy it
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