A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I am a 24 year old female and I really like a guy friend of mine. I want to pursue a relationship with him. The problem is that he is only 22. Most people have told me that I'm a ridiculous for even worrying about an age difference that small but there is still such a negative stigma when it comes to a younger man/older woman and I am too young go be a cougar. I also realize it is more about life stages then it is about chronological age. I feel like we are on similar life stages. A lot of people i know my age are married and in serious relationships, have graduated college, and are working or looking for a job. I am still in college doing the Van Wilder thing. For the first few years of college I didn't take it seriously and didn't know what in wanted to do with my life. I have since gotten an Associates degree and I am pursuing a Bachelors in a rigorous pre graduate studies program. I graduate in May. I work very hard in school but I admit to being a party girl on the weekends. I like to have fun, play the field,and date casually since I broke up with my fiancé. I am in no way ready for anything really serious but I do want an exclusive relationship. Anyway he has a decent job but not a great one. He dropped out of college and doesn't drive. He doesn't have his life together but I don't exactly have mine together either. He's not incredibly mature. He's a typical 22 year old male. I don't consider myself immature because I am dedicated and driven to a career, but yet I feel behind compared to people my age so maybe it will work. A lot of women my age won't consider dating a younger man because they are looking for someone to take of them. That's not me, I don't want a caretaker. I make my own money and have my own car to drive myself around. I would rather be the dominant caretaker and breadwinner,the more manly role. I just want someone who likes me for me and I have fun with. What do you guys think. We have the same social circle and have all the same friends? Can it work with the age difference?
View related questions:
broke up, immature, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 February 2012):
 A stigma attached to a TWO years age difference ? What stigma ? what age difference ? ! Unless you live in Dogpatch, or the Ookefenokie Swamp ( for those who don't cath the reference : too bad for you- go brush up your classic comic strips ).
My sister has been married since the last 15 years or so to a guy who's two years younger than her ,and in all this time nobody thought it was an age difference even worth mentioning. I don't think that anybody would ever accuse you of having gone cougar - not that there's anything wrong with that either :).It's more a matter of being at similar stages in life , as you said. AND most of all of matching personalities.
Tbh, you two don't sound such an excellent match to me, you sound more ambitious, mature and motivated , but that's got nothing to do with age, some guys can be ambitious ,mature and motivated even at 22 or younger, so it's not his age, it's HIM. Maybe you could do better, and maybe in a while you'd get tired of him. Then again, if, like you say, you are not looking at " forever " right now, what's the problem, and why not giving it a shot.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 February 2012):
 ONLY 2 years? You are being a bit over the top about 2 years but less than my dad who at 67 met a woman and was horrified she was SIX MONTHS older than him…
Sounds to me like it’s perfect for you guys right now… and wait and see what happens you may grow together… you may not… but for now why the heck not.
BTW when I was 24 my fiancé was 11… not that I knew him then….
...............................
A
male
reader, Al Somers +, writes (7 February 2012):
 What age difference!!! You call two years an age difference?! Two years is a factor when you're 14 and he's 12, but not at your age! A 10-20 year differential, on the other hand: now,that's an age difference!It's the guy's age in terms of emotional maturity that you should be most concerned about, not his chronological age, especially when he is very nearly your age. It sounds like he's less mature than you are, and that you can do better. I realize that physical attraction can be an overwhelming "trump card," but you should easily be able to find a guy to whom you are attracted and who has his act more together.Of course, you could always go for a casual fling and see where it takes you. But if you're looking for something serious, you may want to look elsewhere.Hope this helps
...............................
|
