A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I fancy someone I know, but his taste in girls is so different to me I'm wondering if it's worth going for it or if I should leave it. He's not my usual "type" (I usually date guys who are quite similiar to me, but he's the stereotypical very academic type of medical student and I'm considering trying out someone a bit different).He's really into electronic music and the hipster scene, and I think he has a type in women too. Most of his exes have been quite "quirky," "artsy" and "alternative" kinds of girls who liked to smoke, went to all the unknown clubs and knew how to "talk hipstery" and discuss electronic music. On the other hand, I am quite conformist in most ways (sporty, girly, very un-hipster etc.) and my taste in music is very mainstream. I don't know anything about art either.They've also looked very different to me (short hair or bobs, sometimes coloured or really highlighted, and a "stand-out," "different" and "cool" look too - lots of ripped band T-shirts and so forth). I look the complete opposite (without sounding arrogant, I'm fairly physically attractive in the "stereotypical", boring, Hollywood way - long hair, slim, nice face - but my look is very classic and unimaginative - I wear a lot of skirts and dresses - and I don't look half as "cool" or unique as any of his exes).I'm not changing for him, obviously, but do you think it's worth asking him out if he seems to have such an obvious taste in women that's different to me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2014): I don't know anything about lots of things but I would deffinitely be curious if I am introduced to it. The fact that you don't know anything about art is totaly fine if you are willing to find out more about it and may be you will be into it so much that you will start to paint yourself.
Don't be fixated on looks, though clothes reflect sometimes who we are on inside emotionally but we change all the time. And I don't believ he will base his opinion about you based on how your style of clothing is different from his type.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 October 2014):
 Why not ? You too, usually don't go for people like him, yet this time you do. People are more multifaceted than we make them , he may be multifaceted too. ( As proven by the fact that he is the "stereotypical very academic type of medical student "... and he goes for electronic music ?? I don't know, maybe in UK is different- in fact , it must be, I have no reason to doubt what you say. But here, the typical medical student normally would not be caught dead listening to eletronic music. And, band ripped T-shirts being " hip " ? That's curious. Here, if there's something that says terminally " non-hip " is THAT kind of attire. Not that this has got to do with anything in particular. Just saying; the world is varied, don't be too quick to fit people into mental boxes because of one detail or one haircut ).
Plus, let's face it , if you look good you look good. If you are attractive, nice face, slim body and all- I would not know too many men who would scoff at you because your good looks are clad in girlie floral dresses rather than in hipster attire. Unless they are gay fashion designers, in which case it's a moot point.
So, it's definitely worth a try. Dazzle him with your smile, as suggested by another poster, and take it from there. I feel he will be pleasantly intrigued by your interest in him :).
If any, ... the difficulty would be not your dresses , but the " I don't know anything about art ". Well, you do not have to be an art expert, but, if he is someone who cares about art, it makes sense he'd be more comfortable with someone who shares his passions, rather than with someone who would not know what he is talking about. But maybe he can get you introduced to the subject, and take you around in art galleries and such... many men love to play Pigmalion ...that may become an asset of yours :).
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A
female
reader, MSA  +, writes (2 October 2014):
 I'm curious, he seems so different than you - what do you like about him?
Then, seeing that he is so different than your 'type', yet you still are interested in him, what makes you think that he may not be interested in you?
Sometimes although guys appear to have a certain type of girls they like.. the ones they actually end up with may be totally different.
For example, my boyfriend has always dated girls who look and dress very sexy. I am totally opposite. I don't even know how to use a curling iron, yet he is with me and sees a future for us.
I'd say go for it.. it may surprise you! Good luck!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 October 2014):
 If you don't fit into his taste of women(interesting choice of words) maybe you should look for some other man that is more tasteful...sounds like the "type" of gal he likes is pretty icky to me 'hipster' gals to me are incredibly shallow and vain, you on the other hand sound lik you have a brain...might want to use it and dump this loser.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (1 October 2014):
Hi there. There really is no point whatsoever in comparing yourself to others.
If you are happy with who you are and don't really want to change anything about yourself, then why do it - just to try and fit in with what you think someone's taste is in women?
That would be a total sellout.
If you try and change yourself to fit the description of who he usually dates, well then you are not being true to yourself. You would be trying to please someone else - at the cost of your own individuality.
It is just not worth it, I promise you.
By happy with yourself and totally love and accept yourself - FIRST - and go from there.
I am assuming that up to this point, you haven't actually had any kind of conversation with this guy, and so you don't even know what he is like to talk to - would that be right?
If you honestly like this guy, and if you see him quite often at school or university or college, whichever it is, or if you only see him in a social situation, well then you could walk past him - going slightly out of your way to go where you are going - and start with a smile.
And see what he does - smile back, hopefully.
And after doing this a few times, you could smile and say "Hi" - and check for his response.
And all being well, he will smile and say "Hi" back to you.
And with some more time - days or weeks - perhaps he might walk up to you, and say something like - "Hi, how's your day been?" - and you go from there.
But first of all, you do need to see whether he has some kind of attraction towards you, and smiling then later saying "Hi" will certainly give you an indication of how he is feeling about you.
He will either show warmth in his smile, or surprise or disinterest.
Other clues are the obvious ones like, him looking at you when you happen to be looking at him - from a distance.
When someone is interested, they keep looking at that other person.
And in time, it will get to the point of actually speaking to each other.
At this point in time, he may not realize you are interested in him.
And so you could start looking at him for a few seconds and try and catch his eye.
And when he does turn his head to look back at who is looking at him, well then hold his gaze for a few seconds - and give a little smile, then look away again.
It's a great start.
And of course, if he is standing in a group of people, make sure you are looking at him from side on - looking at the side of his face, and slightly towards the front of his face - so he can actually SEE someone is looking in his direction out of the corner of his eye.
You know what I mean.
Try it and see.
You have to get his attention first, so he knows you are interested.
It's the very first step.
Don't show off or start laughing loudly, just be yourself when you are talking to your own friends.
Otherwise, that could turn him right off.
And you don't want that.
Once you get his attention and he looks back and you smile, and this goes on for a few weeks, he will start to wonder about you at the very least.
And see what happens then.
You will see some kind of reaction over time and it will give you some idea of his feelings.
But don't just go and ask him out, without first going through these other steps to see where he is at with his feelings.
And after a few weeks of hopefully him showing some interest towards you, well then maybe go and talk to him if you have been smiling and saying "Hi" to each other beforehand, first.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
The main thing is - just be YOURSELF - you can't really be anyone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2014): Sure, why not? Maybe he'd like something different. You're trying to figure out an answer without asking him out. You're stalling, because you're avoiding rejection.
There are two possible answers if you ask him out. Yes, or no. No, won't kill you. Yes, will be the answer you're you're looking for.
How adaptable are you? Why would think he can't be?
You certainly have him figured-out and profiled down to a science. Can't you read his mind too?
In the dating scene, you can't presume what people are thinking before asking. He may not be as "stereotypical" and inflexible about "types" as you might think. Maybe all his exes are exes; because they're so much alike.
You have something unique to offer. You like him? So ask him out, why don't you? It's all about variety!
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