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male
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*arley95
writes: I just met the girl of my dreams but she just got out of a very bad relationship and the guy keeps stalking her. They both work for the same company. She came to visit me in Key West durning the Poker Run last month. Then a hurricane came thru, Katrina, and she invited me up to her house to stay. The first night we hugged and kissed for about 30 min. Then the second night she and I were on the couch and she turned over to face me and we started kissing for 2 hours. On the third night she invited me into her bed (I was sleeping in spare room the first two nights) And we kissed and hugged all night long. No sex. I did not want to rush anything, because the guy that is stalking her wanted to marry her, have her sell her house and move in with him after only knowing her for two weeks. She told me this so I decided to take my time. I then had to leave and go back to Key West after Katrina left and now he is still bothering her to the point where she does not want to get anyone involved until she can find another job so she can get away from him. I believe that she has a case for sexual harrasment but I do not know what to do. I really like this girl. We have a lot in common and I do not want to lose her. I tried asking her if I could see her again and she is not ready. That hurts me a lot I feel like I am being rejected again. I know that she must have some feelings for me based on the time we spent together. I meam when you kiss someone and they embrace you that shows me something. It is not like a lean in kiss; we actually embraced for a very long long time and it was the best kissing and hugging I ever had in my 49 years. She is 40 years old and never married. I am divorced after 28 years. I know I love her but not yet in love with her, but I know in my heart that I will fall in love with her the more time I get to spend with her.Please help. I need to know what to do.
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reader, pops +, writes (30 September 2005):
Talk to your divorce lawyer about what she has to do to get a restraining order against the guy. And tell her to call the police if he does not leave her alone. There are anti-stalking laws in most of the states, now, and the police take these calls seriously. She should also report him to her employers, or supervisors at work. They will also know what to do to protect her. He can be barred from the premises, and arrested if he returns, for instance. You have only know this lady for a short while, and the physical attention has obviously gotten you excited to be alive again. But, take it easy. There are other women out their for you to meet, and this one may just being having problems you can't help her with, and you certainly don't want to add to your own.
A
female
reader, missdee +, writes (30 September 2005):
I'm sure there is something that can be done to keep the man away from her. She shouldn't have to lose her job because of something he is doing.
She says she does not want anyone involved until she can fix this thing with him but does she realize that you are already involved because you care for her and it bothers you that she is being treated like this.
Tell her you are there for her. See if the two of you together can figure out some way of getting her away from the situation she is in or having the man jailed for what he is doing. Wish you both the best!
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A
female
reader, FudgemallowDelight +, writes (30 September 2005):
well unfortunutly it doesnt seem as if there is a lot you can do! just stick by her through this tough time really. if you really like her i suggest give her the space she needs until she gets this other guy out of her life.
i cant say whether you would have a case with the harrassment becuase i dont know enough about it for example does he follow her home at night etc. but even if you did, would she really waqnt to take it to court?
at the end of the day though i really think the best thing you can do for her is be her friend and show her that your not like this other guy.
i am so sorry i cant be of more help to you! just be patient and im sure evrything will turn out fine =)
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A
female
reader, LEXI8580 +, writes (30 September 2005):
the best thing for you to at the moment is to be her friend, she is obviously going through alot with this other man, and probably feels like it would be unfair to get involved with you while all this other stuff is going on. Let her know that your there for her if she needs a chat or someone to lean on, take the pressure off her a little bit and im sure when shes sorted out this stuff she will be in your arms again.
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