A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My gf of 4 yrs went on a all girls trip south and when she came home she told me she hooked up with another guy. She claims they never had sex just made out and did alot of touching. The day she came home I actually had plan to ask her to marry me. Now I am confused... she did tell me about everything, chances are I would have never found out. If she is telling the true, then she didnt actually have sex. But at the same time I keep thinking that she didnt care enough about of relationship to hook up on a vacation then maybe she doesnt really love me. I have never even thought about cheating on her, and I didtn think she would ever do anything like thateither . She says it was just a drunken mistake and that she got caught up in the moment by being on a trip with all single girls. Should I trust her and ask her to marry me?
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female
reader, Aliana +, writes (28 September 2009):
 It is not the moment to propose now. Let a few months go before you ask her to marry you. Otherwise it would be like you would propose her not to lose her or because you are afraid she could hang around with other guys.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 September 2009):
Don't ask her at all yet. You've effectively got to start this relationship all over again, and that's if you want to be with her. The only thing I can say is that she did come clean with you, rather than hide it. Start over with her and think carefully as to whether you want her or not.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (28 September 2009):
 Well,I wouldn't.You only got what is called "trickle down truth". Maybe she will try to tell you "it didn't mean anything, or "I was confused, I just wanted to see where we stood". That is typical of this type of behavior.Most likely she told you only because someone else was about to. Like on of her "friends". You can't be sure she didn't sleep with this guy. You can't be sure about anything.And who's to say there hasn't been other episodes. If you propose to her, you will be sorry. I guarantee it. You want to go into a marriage with this hanging over your head? Then have a mortgage, and a couple of kids in 5 years only to find out she wasn't telling you the truth.Im sorry dude, but you cant find love in a relationship if you are looking for love outside of it. She is a cheater, and she is not to be trusted.The Curb...find the nearest one and dump this cheater off at it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): Trust her? Have you lost your mind? She has clearly demonstrated that she is not trustworthy. If you let this go she will do it again. I promise! You've dodged a bullet. Be grateful and find someone who would NEVER do that to you.
Really, whether she had sex with him or not is irrelevant. She betrayed you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): Well don't propose to her now, that's for sure.
Even if you don't feel like being angry at her and holding a grudge, you really gotta stand up for yourself right now if you don't wanna make things worse. Dont try to fix it by smiling and hugging her and acting like all is forgiven, be upset over it. If she thinks she can do something like that and there are no consequences then you can end up pushing even a "nice girl" into taking more and more risks (read: screwing around) on you.
Don't be an unforging psycho forever about this, but let her know that she has pushed the boundaries here.
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A
male
reader, joe26  +, writes (28 September 2009):
 well, if she is telling you all this then you have to know its true..she loves you somehow and didn't want to cheat on you either. Probably it was all drunken mistake but you still need to sit down with her and talk about it to makesure everythings ok. Give her another go if she is willing to work it out and never do it again.
hope it helps
cheers
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (28 September 2009):
 Only if she agrees to stop drinking and not take trips with her friends that encouraged such behaviors. And then actually see her doing such things before you even propose.
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
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