A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i need help in making a decision, i dont know whether me and my boyfriend should be apart, my family have come between us. my brother accusing my boyfriend of sleeping with his wife, which is absolutely ridiculous, as he doesnt even know what she looks like. he has embarrassed my partner greatly in front of everyone from family to friends and people from the area, he has also lost the respect for himself as well as my partner as my partner was saving his ass from gettin a good battering. esp when my sibling was in the wrong! completely wrong! and now me and my partner are thinking of calling it a day! we love each other dearly, but i cant stand beside him knowin that i am goin to degrade him and his family by marrying him. And i cant do that to him, coz i know he wont say nothing to me but i know his feeling that way coz his really strict on self-respect and self-diginity as anyone would be. but as my sibling has stripped that off him i would be doin the same if he was to marry me. but i dont know what to do, i dont want to be selfish yet at the sametime i dont want to be selfless! i love him dearly! and it hurts! hurts so much that i could be losing him because of my sibling! who i have disowned, but my family will not accept that! and as we both want both the blessings of his family and mine, at this rate there is no blessing! someone, anyone help please. in other words if im with my partner i am degrading him and his family because of what my sibling did thus giving my family a bad name as well.or shall i just leave him so i am not degrading them, they are good people, with high standards, their quiet people minding their one business, but after what happended, people will talk about them because of me and my family.its not as simple as us loving each other end off, from an asian community, you must also consider his family and mine. as (if) i marry him, i will be moving in with his family. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, spinnaker  +, writes (13 May 2011):
Did you take time to sit down with your family and discuss this issue with them? Plan a time to sit with them and respectfully ask their help and advice. If you plan a conversation, it is far less likely to have raised tempers involved.
If what your sibling says bears a false witness, then that needs to be flushed out and the issue resolved. You do no honor to anyone by allowing a lie to exist. And acting under the pretense of a lie is a betrayal of the truth and there is no honor in that either.
A
male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (13 May 2011):
 you need to call it a day if this will never stop.
can you really put up with this your whole life
will it stop?
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