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male
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anonymous
writes: Im 22 and still a virgin. This hasn't been a problem for me in the past because I don't have any trouble getting girls, I just haven't wish to sleep with any of them because I'm more of a relationship kind of guy than a one night stand one. However, I've been going out with a girl for a few weeks now and things are going well. It seems sex is on the cards. Last night was a perfect opportunity, and even though I really wanted to, I just couldn't. I panicked and ended up telling her that since my ex left me I've been unable to get intimate with anyone.She was amazingly understanding and said she'd wait until I felt ready, But I'm just petrified that I don't know what I'm doing. And I hate lying and making excuses for myself. I know she'd understand If I told her, but I'd much rather just sort myself out and do what I want to do, instead of panic so much. For a confident and outgoing person, this is an issue that's haunted me throughout my youth. Help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cowlick28 +, writes (7 November 2005):
You really shouldn't have told her what you did honey, she is probably convinced that you're not going to get over this mystery ex!!
If you have't already, then text her, phone her, whatever, just get her to meet you somewhere for a drink and tell her the truth. If she's worth a decent guy like you, then she will be prepared to wait until you are both ready to get physical.
Good luck x
A
female
reader, kelly-louise +, writes (7 November 2005):
i wouldnt worry as much hun, you seem to for get everyone is a vergin at some point. plus it will come natrally as breathing, just take things one step at a time and use lots of touchin cuddling kissing you will both be wanting more at the end of that, like i said before just take things on step at a time and you will be fine. i am really chuffed that your girlfriend is so understanding, about you wanting to "wait"and as anouther reader said NO PRESURE!
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A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (5 November 2005):
you sound like a really thoughtful guy. you've never rushed into sex for the sake of it. it's good that she understands. a few weeks is nothing in a relationship, especially if you're inexperienced. just take things slowly until you feel ready. tell her you are a virgin and you want her to be your first sexual partner. i know i'd feel really special if i was her. if she's experienced, let her lead the way. stop if you feel uncomfortable and go a little further each time. when the time is right, it will be the best thing ever for both of you.
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A
female
reader, lyndsey +, writes (5 November 2005):
Hi well you dont find many men like you around, i think i'ts great you havn,t rushed into sex. So many people,s first time is with someone they hardly know and it's such a let down to how you imagined it to be.Your first time should be really special and from the sounds of it this girl could be the one.I think you should tell her the truth i think you will be surprised by her reaction, if it was me i would be over the moon that someone as nice as you had chosen me to be their first, i think she will feel really special and she will know that you don,t just want her for sex.Dont worry about not knowing what to do it will come naturally and afterwards you will wonder why you were ever worried, so good luck and i hope everything works out for you Lyndsey xx
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A
female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (4 November 2005):
 You don't say if your girlfriend is a virgin or not but either way is fine is you feel the time is really right for you. Don't just feel you have to lose your virginity because of your age as that is not the right reason. If you know this girl is in for the long run then your inexperience means nothing. If she is experienced just let her lead the way, if she is a virgin then don't feel you have to go inside her the first time. Just relax together, kiss and cuddle, and when whether you have an erection or not, let her fondle your penis. No pressure, just lether stroke you and if she is comfortable with it, ask her to be next to you with as little on as she feels comfortable. It can be just as sexy putting your fingers inside her pants to stroke her as it is to have her undressed. I know for a fact that if you proceed slowly this way you will both be chafing at the bit to go further. It doesn't matter if you come too soon, or don't come at all because each time you will gain your confidence to go to the next stage. Don't forget to wear a condom, and that can be quite erotic for her to put on for you. Just relax and laugh if it doesn't work first time as the pleasue you will feel from it will still be an exiting adventure for you both.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2005): Thats good that you have morals for you and others. If she really does understand and can wait. Then you should totally take the time. It sounds like you have a girl thats interested and cares so dont blow it by lieing. Trust me it wont turn out that good. I am 19/f who has a fetish for Military guys and lets say Ive met a few bad eggs in the dozen but the one Im with right now feels the same way you do. Like sex is on the cards yet you dont jump "right" on every opportunity you get. Thats a good qualtiy that girls do respect but just dont show it because we are somewhat jealous inside. Its true- we are like football... Males are the quarterback and Females are the reciever. We recieve everything and seem to have the crudy end on almost every outcome of making love. So as you see it, sex isnt the main focus point in a relationship unless thats the kind you want to make it. If you are sure that your girl will respect what you feel as the whole losing it and not knowing what to do- ask here for assistants. Its not what it sounds like but, I mean like how far to push, how soft/hard etc... those things really do matter. And I have to mention; her being on top the first time might hurt your penis alittle more than you bargined for unless thats the way it naturally goes. Be careful and use protection. Okay... Good luck!
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