A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question when i was home from Iraq last year 2008 the last time me and my wife had sex was april 4th 2008 when i cam back from iraq ahe told me she was preg and then on March 1st 2009 our son was born her due date was feb 26 2009 now is there any way this baby is not mine becaus eeveryone i talk to said its not. Plese someone help me im back in Iraq and shes going crazy with the bank account. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): honestly there is a high probability the baby isnt yours seeing as how its very common for a baby to b born 9 months. small chance the baby is yours but you should get a dna test to confirm if the baby is yours or if you should end your relationship because she might have cheated. whatever you do don't jump to conclusion as you can ruin your relationship. if she is not approving of the dna test jst tell her the reasons you feel you need to take the test. if she still doesnt approve things may seem suspicious but try to work it out for your benefit and dont focus to much on making her happy if your feeling insecure about it
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female
reader, Shelbee +, writes (2 December 2009):
Wow… It’s amazing how uninformed people are about the chemistry of their own bodies! I am not a medical doctor or a midwife but I am a doula so I work with many doctors and midwives. Depending on the ph levels of both you and your wife, it is possible for your sperm to survive for up to two weeks inside of your wife’s body. For the sake of argument, let’s just say it did. That would mean your wife could have ovulated as late as April 18th and still conceived your child. However, that being said, she would have had to carry that pregnancy for 45 weeks in order to deliver on March 1st. That is not unheard of and used to be much more common. If your wife saw a conventional OB in the US, there is No Way they would let her carry that long. They simply would not risk the malpractice case. She would have been induced no later than Feb 7th or 8th. If she saw a midwife, on the other hand, they may have let her go as long as the 15th (or even the 22nd, if they were really committed to an intervention free pregnancy). I’m sorry to say, for your sake, that I have never encountered a midwife that allowed a woman to carry past 44 weeks.
If you don’t want to raise her suspicions or start an argument, ask to see the very first ultrasound/sonogram again. The first is the most accurate and should show how far along she is. For example, an ultrasound dated June 13, 2008, should show aprox. 8 weeks gestation. Do the math from there.
Best of luck and God Bless!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): Hi there. I think even before posting on DC you almost knew this kid is not yours. Now that you have almost irrefutable proof, what are you going to do. DO NOT LET THIS WOMAN HOODWINK YOU INTO ACCEPTING PATERNITY FOR THIS KID. Too many women have forced men to pay with their lives and these poor men had to fork out love and finances for a seed that is not theirs. MEN need to stand up and demand paternity tests. This is the only way a woman can be taught a lesson not to force down their lovers seed onto unsuspecting men.
“shes going crazy with the bank account.” Try to put a stop on the bank account. It is YOUR MONEY . do not grant her access to your funds.
I am sorry that you are going through difficult times, but this madness needs to stop. The kid is not yours and she is milking you dry. She is having her cake and the cream and she is enjoying it. You are serving your country while the missus is SERVICING another man. Get rid of her!!!!!!!! QUICK!!!!! Chin up, get rid of the wife and take hold of your bucks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am sure about the Dates thanks for all you r replys to this topic it really helped me out. Its given me prespective on things. Thanks again everyone
Airborne Rangers Lead the way !!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): i also know a few people who have carried babies for 10 months but they were either years ago, or home births. In this advanced medical day it doesnt happen. No more than two weeks over and the doctor will either induce labor or do a c~section. It used to figure 9 mo and 7 days, but now usually 40 weeks.. This is figured from the first day of your last period. Trust me...9 pregnacies and 7 kids...this is a rbject i know well. Mal
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female
reader, CASTLE +, writes (29 November 2009):
Nope ..can't be yours. Best that you get a DNA test if you want to know for sure. Good luck.
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female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (29 November 2009):
 I know there may not be much you can do from Iraq, but you should challenge paternity as soon as possible. I've heard of cases where children conceived during a marriage--even if the husband was not the father--are considered products of the marriage and the guy is still on the hook for child support. I would hate for you to be in that position, especially because you are serving our Country (THANKS!).
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female
reader, shadow....  +, writes (29 November 2009):
if you are confused ask a doctor who knows the cycle of pregnancy...you will feel if that baby is yours..i dont have right to say if its that baby is not yours..if the last time you have sex to your wife is april so May is the first month thatshe is pregnant then count from May,its only 9 months a woman carry a baby in the womb i think January is the due date if she's pregant of May.best thing you ca do go to google and research cycle of pregnancy..its only 9 months if the baby is overdue high risk is the baby will die in the womb...i am a nurse thats why i know the cycle...hope that i help you for my answer.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): in no way baby can be yours but still it would be better that u go for DNA test to support your claim nd clear all doubts.
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (29 November 2009):
 Ive worked this out every conceivable way I can using a conception wheel and even allowing a two week margin either side of conception (which can happen) the very latest the baby would have been born would be mid january 2009 (this allows a 42 week pregnancy which is the absolute maximum a pregnancy could go). This is also allowing for a last period about mid march 2008. If your dates are correct I don't think the baby could be yours. I am so sorry...that said I would still check the dates again.
AE xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): I am from Iraq and I visit thois site frequently.One day ,may be it was this week I read that someone made his friend's wife pregnant while he is on his duty in Iraq and he was asking for advice and help.I don't saythat your friend cheated on you but absolutelty your wife has done.She doesn't deserve you and your sucrifice.Instead of living in fear of losing you she makes fun of you.Iam so sorry for that.May God bless you.
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male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (29 November 2009):
 If you had sex with your wife in late May, or early June 2008, the baby boy is your son. If not, it is impossible that he is yours.I would go straight to the forces legal services to get a 'hold' on your account, and have your wages put into a different one. Contact her in your normal way, and tell her what you know, and what everyone seems to be telling you. If the baby was born March 1st, it CANNOT be yours. Keep up the great work in that unstable area, be safe, and keep those rats away from your toes at night.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): This is awful, I'm so sorry but I completely agree. NO POSSIBLE WAY is this baby yours. She's going crazy with your bank account because she's probably scared you're going to find out the truth and cut her off soon so she's spending as much as she can before you find out. I'd call the bank right now and put a freeze on your account or something and start a separate account for only you. Have your wages all put in there and maybe take a chunk out of the other account and put in there as well. You are risking your life for that money and she's just trying to get as much of it as possible before you stop her. It's obvious that she's having unprotected sex with some other guy and with you so be safe and protect yourself, don't worry about it until you get back home but don't sleep with her anymore and get yourself a full STD work up, who knows who she's sleeping with and what she could possibly be passing along to you. She's not worth it, you deserve someone better who will be faithful and supportive and someone you can trust. Good Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): i neglected to say the first time, but i too appreciate your service and sacrifice to me, my family, and my country. I know it is for every american, but i want to personally take the oppurtunity to say thank you...hang in there and above all be safe darlin'. . . .mal
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female
reader, TinkD +, writes (29 November 2009):
Hi Honey, I'm sorry yo're going through this. Especially when you are away, things always get heightened when yo are far away!Lets look at the facts; The last time you had sex was 4th April 2008, the usual pracice is to add 40 weeks from this date which would have given a due date of around January 10th 2009, now people don't realise that conception can take a while to happen and sperm can stay in the system for a good week. For agruements sake, she may only have just been pregnant which would extend the due date by a week or two. Lets say this would give us due dates of 17th Jan or 24th Jan 2009. Which means they cocked up her due date!! Or she was pregnant after April 4th 2008. Giving birth however on March 1st is only in theory 6 weeks late!! Which is very possible. I have known many people be 6 or 7 weeks late. The question is did they say the baby was late? He/she would have had lots of white powdery skin all over the little body, this is a sure sign of a late baby. But sweet is this the real issue? To put your mind at rest definately have a DNA test done. At least you will know then for sure. I really feel for you, but don't allow other gossipy people to ruin your life!! Don't buy into others nasty agendas. Ask yourself why they're telling you this information. I don't know you partner, and hope she is not as awful as this may all sound! But you do need to get to the bottom of it! For your own sanity! Is there an issue with trust here anyway? Do you really trust her? That is the real issue. If the answer is no. Then ask yourself why? Is it your issue, or has she done things to you so you can't trust her? Trust is probably the biggest issue in a relationship, and if you don't have it then you need to take serious steps to sort it out!I wish you all the luck in the worldTink xxx
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (29 November 2009):
 Sorry. No.
The average pregnancy lasts 40 weeks, 9.2 months. The problem is that this is not actually true. First time mothers are known to have longer pregnancies. Also, the time the sperm goes in (4-4-2008) might not have been the day of conception. Sperm can life a few days inside, so if she ovulated on say (8-4-2008) then she might still have gotten pregnant from the sex 4 days before.
April, May, June, July, August, September, Oktober, November, December, Jan, Feb. That is 11 months. Are you 100% certain of the dates?
I can't think of anyway that this is your baby. You need to add 3 weeks to the start (a menstruation would have flushed your sperm out even if she had been on her back the whole time) and 3 weeks to the end (doctors would have induced labor to save mother and child) to make it stretch that far.
It just ain't possible. It don't work this way.
Get some advice quickly from whatever support is available in the US army, because you don't want to be handling weapons with this going on. Best of luck.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (29 November 2009):
 It is not your baby because that is biologically impossible. Early in the pregnancy your wife would have been given an ultrasound to identify a due-date for the delivery. Most doctors do not like women to go too far from the due-date because the placenta supporting the baby in the womb degrades after 9 months and becomes less able to support life. Therefore women are often induced or offered c-section when they haven't delivered on time. I don't think there is much you can do in Iraq. Next time you are home then you should have 'the talk' with her - I don't think you need an expensive DNA test at this stage because you can be sure it is not yours. I think you need to decide on the future of your marriage and seek legal advice if necessary when you get back home. As for the spending, perhaps you can make contact with your bank and start your own separate single-person account. You can arrange for wages to go in there and then give her an allowance if you wish.
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female
reader, Stranger. +, writes (29 November 2009):
 nope.sorry to say that but if you had sex with her in april, then the baby should have been born in the november/demcemberof 2008.it makes no sense.anyways, do you believe your wife would cheat on you?if you have any doubt then maybe you need some help with that.you should look at the baby carefully.does it look like you in any way?does it act like you in any way?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): sweetie, i have 7 kids, i would call myself a pregnacy expert. Its not yours. Theres no way...... a) that your wife carried a child 11 mo...b) that any doctor would allow a woman today to go 2 months over her due date..3) the kid would weigh 15 lbs. The reality is hard but you need to take action NOW! See a lawyer...ask for a dna/paternity test and do not fall for tears and lies. She is taking your money, cheating on you, lying to you, and probably using your medical benefits to bear another mans child. Its unexcusable in my books. I hate this for you. Women like this...give the words woman, wife, faithful, and love a bad rap. She is none of these...good luck, sweetie, mal.
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female
reader, domybest +, writes (29 November 2009):
9 months... If her due date was feb 26th the baby would have been convieved around the end of April, beginning of May...If you are unsure then you can ask for DNA test.Hope everything works out well for you. And good for you for being over there x
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male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (29 November 2009):
If this baby was indeed born 11 mnths after u had sex last I doubt this baby is urs. Get a paternity test done asap. Humans are not pregnant for 11 months. A couple weeks longer is one thing but not 2mnths. The doc wud have induced labor before she was that late. If ur wife did cheat on u my heart goes out to you and I wish you all the luck in the world
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): Contact a lawyer if possible to assess your options. It's highly likely the child isn't yours, and she may be springing a divorce. Sorry man, women who do this to our brave soldiers should be forced to serve as human IED-sweepers in Iraq.
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