A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i think im in love with my teacher but i dont now the only problem is shes a girls and older than me im confussed and need help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2009): Emilysanswers is right. Take it from someone who's been there. And when I say been there, I really mean it :PI had a massive crush on my female english teacher for the last 3 years of high school. I've just finished this year, and finally feel like I can move on.We got along really well, and when I left, she told me to keep in touch. However, I'm not sure how old your are or your exact situation, so ours are probably different. My experience was purely platonic. Not once during the course of my "crush" did I ever feel anything romantic. That doesn't mean what I felt wasn't strong and at times, overpowering. But I never wanted anything sexual with her. That wasn't what it was about for me - I just admired her, even aspired to be like her.So if you're having troubles and uncertainties defining your sexuality, (this will sound weird) but imagine kissing her, and if you like it, then I'd say you might be gay. And I say "might" because that doesn't mean you are. You're a teenager and believe me, everyone will say it, but your hormones are all over the place. You may not realize it and think you're totally fine, but trust me - it's happening. Anyway, the reason I say all that is because there were many times over the past 3 years when I questioned if I was gay, just because I had such strong feelings towards another woman - so I tried to imagine kissing her, and when I did, I just...couldn't. It didn't feel right, and on top of that, I just didn't want to. The biggest thing I want you to remember is that it's totally FINE and acceptable to have a crush/obsession on a teacher. It's hard not to have a crush on a teacher, I mean look at them. They are smart, usually funny and often confident. What's not to like? As teenagers we are struggling to define, not only our sexuality, but who we will be as people, as adults. And quite often we project our own aspirations onto people we admire and want to be like, in this case a teacher.Anyway, I hope this helps. If you need any help, don't hesitate to message me :)
A
male
reader, Lawrencian  +, writes (29 November 2009):
As a gay person, I can get how confusing this must be for you and how this must be driving you downright CRAZY!So first off my sympathies and a MASSIVE cyber hug.In answering this question I am going to break it down, as it seems you have to different problems.Falling in love with a teacher is something that just happens sadly, and I think that you have to remember that sadly, your love will probably be ignored and most likely rejected. Not only would she be fired, she would also be prosecuted and go to prison. As a teacher she is there to help you but nothing more, I suggest finding some other girls your own age, you can't be the only one after all!Now being in love with her is the main problem. If this were a crush I would simply tell you to wait, because it will pass. While the same could still happen here, you should try and actively to move on. Moving on is sadly the only option.Especially if this woman is heterosexual, because then we all know it simply cant work because she simply CANT like girls, any girls, ever. So get active! Try looking for a nice girl your age or just meet new people, find new hobbies, you will get over it! Hope that helped.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (29 November 2009):
This is one of the most commonly asked questions on here.
Yes it's perfectly normal to have crushes on girls and women at your age.
It could well be a phase as your hormones have kicked in and will make you fancy anything that moves.
It could be something that stays with you.
You just have to enjoy the ride, enjoy your crush but since she is your teacher the most important rule is to NOT SAY OR DO ANYTHING.
It's never worth the drama.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, domybest +, writes (29 November 2009):
Its a crush, you will feel how you feel and get over it when you meet someone else. You're not in love don't worry. I know it can be so confusing at your age, you don't know what you want or who you are and you question yourself so much!But its ok, you just look up to her. Try to not think about it too much, and use it with your school work, you wanna impress her, so work hard!Good luck!x
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