A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'm a 16 year old guy and will be 17 in 2 weeks. Me and my gf both lost our V plates to each other when we were 15. My girlfriend is 3 months younger than me which makes her a year behind me in education. Thing is, even though now we are above the legal age to have sex my mum thinks it's wrong for us to do so at our ages. I mean, ok we are young but we love eachother and everytime feels right and fun. We are always very careful and make sure that we're both comfortable. I have never told my parents directly that we are sexually active but it's obvious that my mum can tell. My girlfriends mum also knows but she doesn't really have that much of a problem. I respect my parents a lot but I also love my girlfriend. I'm not just gonna stop doing it all of a sudden because of my mum, I just don't understand that I'm basically 17 and she doesn't accept that I'm growing up and I want to be intimate with the girl I love.Any thoughts anyone? =/ Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone =]
A
male
reader, karldlewis +, writes (1 June 2009):
My advice is very simular to Wreck and I also agree with everything koenig said but I think it would be a good idea to bring the conversation of your sex life up. This way it will look like the decision has been more thought through and a more responsable one- it's only a suggestion but if she already really knows she can't get too mad.
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A
male
reader, Wreck  +, writes (1 June 2009):
 Im 17 my self ... , and to tell you the truth my mom is sort of the same way , she does not really care about me having sex with other girls but she always tells me to becareful because she knows im not emotionally and stable enough to support a baby at the moment so she always warns me when I bring my girl freind home. Also it might be that she doesn't accept the fact that her "little" boy is growing up especially if your the youngest I noticed moms always have a hard time accepting the fact that there boys are maturing and making decisions with out there approval. If your mom decides to talk to you more then just let her know that you'll accept full responabillity of your actions if anything does happen such as getting your girl pregnent let her know that you guys are being safe and she has nothing to worry about.
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A
male
reader, koenig +, writes (1 June 2009):
I'm in a very similar situation to you actually, or more accurately, was in a similar situation. My parents have always been fine with it, my girlfriend's parents were so angry about it that we had to pretend that we wouldn't do it any more.
It's natural for your mother to feel like this. To her, you're still her little boy and she's probably worried about what it'll be like when you're all grown up. Partly, she probably also worried that you'll get her pregnant and throw your life away. She won't care how careful you're being, that fear will stay there.
You shouldn't stop, it's your sex life and it's a private matter. I don't know what you do now, but I think you should be respectful of your parents' views, in that you should have sex in their house and you should try to make it less noticeable if possible.
Keep being careful, the last thing you want (well, a baby of course, but...) is for your mum to be right to worry about you not being safe. Use reasonably foolproof contraception - if you're only using condoms at the moment, you and your girlfriend should go to your local sexual health clinic to discuss more reliable methods, it's free and confidential.
You can text BROOK SERVICE plus your postcode to 81222 to find your nearest sexual health clinic.
Sex is a brilliant thing and I think that if relationships are serious enough (and I have no reason to think that you're isn't serious) it's really good for relationships too. Your parents should come round to it eventually, they've just got to get past the initial terror that their child is having sex.
I haven't suggested trying to convince your mum that you're old enough, because I assume that since she already thinks you're too young, she'll probably think that you're also too young to have a proper opinion about this.
One last thing: there are going to be times when your parents will just never agree with you on things and you'll just have to do what you think is right, this could be one of those times.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): As long as you're living at home, you need to respect your parents' rules while you're in their house. Anything that happens elsewhere is your business. Good luck!
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