| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My ex broke up with me. I apologized to him and was truthful to him. He made it clear that he didin't want me. there were times when he gave me mixed signals and I responed and then the next time I talk to him he would be negative again. I loved him so much I pleaded with him for about a year with no luck,so exactly 12 days ago, I gave it one more chance since he said he loved me. I told him that I loved him and wanted a fair chance to be with him, because I felt like I didn't have that because the situation he was in ,which was not yet divorced. I feel like I haven't had the chance to love him feely with the world knowing because of this. He said he would think about it. I normally call him within 2or3 days but I decided that I had did all I could and if he really loved me he would get in contact with me, so I haven't called him anymore. After 5days he called me. I didn't answer the first 2 calls but I answered the 3rd one and he was on the way to my house. He stayed about an hour,told me he loved me and woke up with me in his heart. Since he left I haven't heard from him since monday. It really hurts but I'm trying not to be weak about him and I don't want to be a nag. I feel like I have tried enough. Do you all think that that last visit was the end for us. Should I just completely give up on him? I can't remember the last time I spent quality time with him. If he really loved me and accepted my apology shouldn't we be enjoying each other?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): I only dated him ,because he said he was ending the marriage because she cheated on him several times. At one point he was really nice but took to long with the divorce, I dated someone else for a little while after a few years. Thats why I apologized to him. I don't normally go after married me, but he lead me to believe we had a real future and I felt well if she cheated and he really doesn't want her it's ok.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): you need to realise that he is stillmarried and you have having an affair with this married man. although it hurts you need to fact facts - he is and has NEVER been yours. he messed with your head for the past 12 months. its time to let your married man do. so that you can at least have a chance at living a complete life again. your affair with him was just that an affair, you were his mistress/ his lover. and he showed you what you really meant by just getting rid of you from his life. this is harsh but it is the reality. this man would never truly be yours. yes, so cry your tears and mourn the end of this affair but pick yourself up and try again. this time with an unattached man. and there are plenty of good men out there. you deserve happiness and your lover sure made you miserable instead of happy.
good luck
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A
female
reader, jalmetha  +, writes (1 June 2009):
 You poor thing. I know it’s hard, but you really have to let him go. He has led you around for a year.
You mentioned that he was married. I know you have heard this before but it is the truth, if he wanted to be with you, he would. The fact that he has not gotten a divorce is proof that he would much rather be with her than you. Think about the last time you really wanted something, maybe it was a new pair or shoes or in my case, a cat condo for my two cats, you will make some type of sacrifice to get it. I ate some variation of chicken and rice for two weeks to make up for the cash I spent on that thing! If he really wants you, he would do the same thing.
Secondly, you will never get over him if you keep taking to him. Cease all communication by blocking his phone calls, don’t open the door when he comes by, if he comes by your work, make sure he understands that you no longer want to be his second choice and should he stop by again, you will call the police – and mean it.
You are feeling miserable because you don’t want to be lonely and are tying to hold on to his love on his terms. Stop allowing him to treat you this way. I implore that you leave him. I will be rough at first, but you will thank yourself later. :-). Be strong sister!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): Why are you apologizing to him anyway? He broke up with you. Get the book - Its called a breakup cause its broken!
Get the hell out of it - if he wanted to be with you he would be - you are trying to hard. You deserve better and you deserve a man who is available.
There is no good catch in a man who would cheat on his wife no matter what the situation. You can make an honest go with a man like that.
So don't call don't answer. Get busy doing new things and meeting new people. I know I am going thru it now.
My xbf cheated on me while my mother was dying. I shoulda known it was gonna happen cause he had cheated on his xwife when he was with her and he cheated on his fiance.
He has issues. and you may too if you choose to stay and beg like that - You are better you are strong - Call a womens abuse center and see a counselor - all abuse is not physical. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (1 June 2009):
 Hi Chicka
You are a very smart girl. You are right, if he loved you he would be with you. Love yourself enough to leave this one alone.
I get the feeling that he has to make sure that you are still around waiting for him. And honestly my belief is time spent waiting is time wasted. Go out, be good to yourself, wash him out of your hair even.
He may love you but that love does not respect you enough for him to be honest with you to let you know what he truly wants. While you are waiting, Mr. Fabulous might be walking by .....and you Miss SuperFox....might not have your hair washed....if you get my drift.
There is someone out there for YOU. Go get ready to met him whenever he shows up!
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