A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'm having real trouble getting my head around this one. I'm a 45 year old divorcee with 2 children of 22 and 19. They both live with me after my wife ran off with another man.I'm lucky that I have a close circle of friends around me with my family and 2 other familys. We spend a lot of time together, birthdays and holidays. e also vacation together at least once a year.I feel though that one of the younger members of our circle of friends, the 17 year old daughter of one of the couples has eyes for me.It started with flirting on her behalf and most recently we spent a drunk night together in the pub which lead to her touching me high up my leg, and even sliding her hand into my back pocket when up at the bar and squeezing my bum.I don't want to encourage her but I feel flattered by her interest and find her extremly attractive. In any other situation I would be all over her, but I'm finding it harder and harder to resist her, especially after some very saucy and suggestive text messages from her.We are all off on holiday together next month and I really don't know what to do. I'm sure after what she has said that she is going to try something, seeing her in her bikini everyday and spending a lot of time with her is not going to help, what should I do?!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): You already know a) the fantasy is always better than the reality b)10 minutes after your done your gonna regret it c) your gonna lose more than you could ever hope to gain if you do this. Listen to your brain not your penis!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): Go for it man! Give the girl what she wants. Like my daddy used to say, don't look a gift horse in the mouth! If this sexy young girl wants a roll in the hay, I say go for it. It's like the universe knows you're divorced and your wife left you for another man, so the universe is sending you something better, a sexy young girl who has the hots for you! So I say give her what she's asking for, but you might want to make her promise to keep it a secret. In fact, if she wants to have sex with you, tell her you will, but only if she keeps it a secret from your friends and her parents, your kids, etc.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 If you cannot fight temptations,
run away from the devil.
The more you are together,
the more the devil will tempt you and one day you may become
weak and succumbed and learn to regret later.
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A
female
reader, yoginipirate  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 Close your eyes...pretend (like you've already been doing) that you're writhing around with this girl...& both of your children walk in...now pretend that your trusting friends, her parents, also walk in. That really ought to do it. While I'm all for adults having their fun, your children are OLDER than she is & now matter how vampish she may be--she is not an adult! Responding to this girl sexually, may also damage, if not ruin, friendships that you seem very grateful to have. Kids will be kids, but you MUST be the grown-up. Don't be a fool. While it is certainly flattering, she won't be trying to "settle down" with you, you're the forbidden fruit (as she should be to you)---she has the excuse of being young & flighty, you'll lose your friends & the respect of your kids in the bargain. I say go out, have a nice rowdy romp with an adult & keep her number for the next time Lolita comes around.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): She is obviously disturbed and looking for male attenion. Does she not have a father? She's younger than your own kids. Seriously, ask her what her intentions are It's possible that she is just trying to get a rise out of you. I remember doing things like this when I was 17, I led men on that I had no intentions of sleeping with just for attention. I was sexually abused as a child and I did not have a father. 17 is sooo young, she probably does not know what she is doing..
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (9 April 2008):
 I've had younger girls show attention. What you have to do is respect her, all though temptation is getting to you. Would you loose a friend by jumping on his daughter?
I had a girl do this a few years back. She was like that because she had been sexually assaulted in the past. If there are reasons behind her actions, wouldn't it be taking advantage of the vulnerable if you acted on her advances.
There was a girl once, years ago who did this with me, 14 years old. She was getting into trouble at school and socially. I didn't find out until she was 22 that, my friend, her stepfather, was having sex with her since she was 11. If I only knew then, what I know now.
I'm not at all implying that's what's going on here. If it is, or if it's just boosted hormones, she will more than likely look at you as such a great man for not accepting her advances in a time her hormones we're difficult to control. Girls are so cute at that age and all hormonal. I read something not long ago about teacher, student attractions and how it relates to transferance. It stated it's difficult for male instructors in middle and high schools at times because so many female hormones bouncing all over the school. Transferance is the feeling you can receive by being around others who are feeling a certain way. Such as counseling someone with depression, counselors have reported being a bit more depressed after the session than before. Only because that energy wares off on them.
Same thing here. She's at the age where her sexuality is goning to really come out. It's your position as an adult to recognize that and to stick to principle. Think about it, that would be like sleeping with your own child. Of course she's younger than your children. In this situation, if it was an older man and one of your children that were experiencing this, how would you expect the man to act?
Take care, and direct her toward a cold shower, but without you helping her in that area.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (9 April 2008):
 you friend will kick you ass you freeking perv lol
Ah.. man.
so whats what they ment by " Smells like Teen spirit"
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A
male
reader, Banoffee +, writes (9 April 2008):
 Well we're all entitled to enjoy the attention of a horny and experimental 17 year-old, but I think the attention is usually given in order to gain power and control, and that would also seem to be the case here. I'd suggest you enjoy her attention and company but don't concede power in order to get more of it. You're in control of when enough is enough and I daresay being assertive but understanding about that with her when it's appropriate will bring you more satisfaction and peace of mind than simply giving in to her.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 April 2008):
 You know the answer to this one already, don't you?
Enjoy the fact that she seems to find you attractive, but hands off otherwise! Put that shoe on the other foot, and consider how you would feel if one of your male friends started up a flirtation with your daughter...
Girls that age sometimes like to flex their newly acquired sexiness muscles and experiment with driving guys crazy. She actually may not mean for anything to happen, she just may enjoy getting a rise out of you!
Cold showers, enjoy the view, more cold showers. Think with your big head!!!
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): Are you thinking about how your kids will lose respect for you? or how the parents of this young girl will be devastated by the news that you slept with their daughter?
Are you concerned that it's common for a teenager to get a crush on an older guy but that you mean absolutely nothing to her?
Chances are you are not thinking about any of these people in your life, just yourself.When you are ready,have a relationship with an adult. It sounds as though you have a few regrets in your life already, please don't add to them.
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